Climbing My Personal Mount Everest

Made to Crave

2011-01-17T12:11:00.000-08:00

Last year, my life took a very busy and stressful turn, and one of the first things to go was keeping up with blogging, especially my fitness blog.

I've been terrible about keeping up on this blog, and it is virtual reflection of how successful I've been at keeping up on my fitness journey in real life. Not so hot. : (

With the New Year came a desire to rediscover the joy of blogging. And I'm doing that on my Everyday Becky blog. For now, it is easier for me to use Everyday Becky to blog about everything in my everyday- including my fitness journey- instead of trying to maintain two blogs.

And right now on Everyday Becky, I'm running a 10 week series called "Made to Crave" Mondays. I'm blogging every Monday about a new book by Lysa TerKeurst, and the impact it is having on my personal weight loss journey.

I hope you'll join me over on that blog. Lysa is a guest blogger today and I think you'll like the insight she has about facing temptation and preparing ahead for it. It hit home for me. See you over there.

You can click here to get to Everyday Becky.

Love,
Becky

I Kissed Dieting Goodbye...

2010-06-13T10:59:00.000-07:00

And it is SO scary!

In the past, when I found myself in the place I am now- uncomfortable in my clothes and ashamed of the extra weight, my "go to" plan was the next diet. I was desperate to change NOW!!

But, it became harder and harder to start again. And it became harder and harder to keep it off.

As I continue in this quest for lasting change, I'm learning that all of the dieting in my past has taken a toll on my health and metabolism. I'm learning that only 2% of people who lose weight actually keep it off. If I want to be a part of the "2% Club", I'm going to have to stop dieting and start making lasting changes in my lifestyle, my behavior, and my thinking. Only then will I succeed in this journey and stop gaining it all back again.

In the past, I laughed at the claim that if I'd only make a few lifestyle changes, I could stop dieting. It always seemed like an excuse to be lazy and that the only real way to lose the weight once it was there was to diet. I didn't have the patience to lose it slowly. I was too embarrassed and felt like my life would end if I didn't get the fat off now!

The cost of that mentality was a screwed up metabolism and yet more failure.

Here I am again. But I'm not going on a diet.

I lost a 1/2 pound last week. That isn't much, but I also didn't diet last week. I rode my bike instead of driving my car when I could. I ate fruit and vegetables. I tried to cut back on sugar and white flour, and I drank a lot of water. I'm trying so hard to be patient, to be the tortoise instead of the hare so I can win the race. It is hard. I still feel desperate for change. I still wish it could be fast, but I want to keep it off even more.

These are the books I'm currently reading. I thought I knew everything there was to know about losing weight. These books are showing me I have much to learn about living a healthy life:

Question: Do you think it is possible to lose weight without dieting?

Trying Something New

2010-04-23T11:43:00.000-07:00

The time between 3:00 and 5:00 in the afternoon is a danger zone for me and my fitness goals. I start each day with the greatest intentions of sticking to my eating plan, and then 3:00 rolls around. My energy crashes, I feel exhausted, and I feel like I NEED to eat.

Even if I try to eat something small and healthy, it seems to trigger an afternoon binge. It's been so discouraging! I've been wondering how to change things to survive that time of day.

Last week, a friend sent an email that had a saying in it that I'd heard before:

You should eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a beggar.

Reading it this time, made me wonder if changing the order of my meals might help me with this afternoon dip. So I'm trying to eat a dinner size meal at lunch, a small afternoon snack that includes a healthy carb (like an apple) and a lean protein (like a hard boiled egg or string cheese) and then when I would have eaten dinner, I'm having a light lunch size meal.

I've got high hopes. I'll let you know if the change does any good for me. I'd love to hear if there are any other tips for increasing energy and curbing appetite for that time of day.

Babysteps

2010-03-22T07:48:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to pick myself up, shake off the (figurative) snow from the latest avalanche, and start climbing again. I want to face victory and the top of the mountain, instead of laying here feeling sorry for myself and focusing on my failure and defeat.

I'm tackling this mountain again with babysteps. One new step a week.

Last week, I took Babystep #1: I started the "Couch to 5K" running plan. I printed the plan, put it on the fridge, and wrote the race date on it. My favorite part is marking off each workout with a big x. I'm proud to say, the first three workouts are checked off.

Today, I began Babystep #2: Deal with my sugar addiction.

I'm going sugar free from now until Easter to get it out of my system. This week's focus will be getting through my sugar cravings and thinking about how to deal with this issue.

For breakfast, I had oatmeal sweetened with raisins instead of brown sugar and added a handful of peanuts for protein. Feeling great about it so far.

I'll begin Babystep #3 next week.

Avalanche on the Mountain

2010-03-20T11:58:00.000-07:00

In this journey I call "Climbing My Personal Mount Everest," I've come to the conclusion that this is going to be a continuous battle.

I have so far to go in figuring out how to have a consistent fit lifestyle and to have right thinking about and control over food.

The term yo-yo dieter could not be a better way to describe me. Or maybe an accordion-

Chubby, thin, chubby, chubbier, thin, than chubby again. In-out-in-out.
Up and down the scale.

My most recent attempts to climb the mountain have been a similar story-

October 2008 - October 2009: Lost 50 pounds of post pregnancy weight.
Wanted to lose 10 more before Thanksgiving, but then AVALANCHE!!! Watch out below!Gained 20 by the end of the holidays instead.
January 2010, tried Nutri System again and lost 10 pounds. Yay! Only 10 more to get back to where I was in October.
Oops... : ( Another avalanche on the mountain- 10 pounds are back on already.

Ugh! The winter blues and stress struck and food became a comfort and escape once again.

(Next year I will not begin the Fall and Winter season without a plan! The same thing happens every year! I'm tired of it.)

I know there are so many resources available to me as a Christian to win this battle, not in my strength, but His. That's my most recent prayer, "Show me how to tap into the strength, grace, and victory I have in You in order to overcome me."

I've made a positive step in the right direction- I started the Couch to 5K plan again. The two mini jog/walks I've been on so far make me feel like I'm coming out of hibernation. I love to run! I've got my eye on a 5K race in May and then hopefully more races over the summer.

Anyone still out there? : )

Ten Pound Tuesday: It Will Happen

2009-11-10T05:34:00.000-08:00

Before Thanksgiving, huh?

Has anyone else come to the realization that all ten pounds might not be off before Thanksgiving?

I had the greatest of intentions- Lose 10 pounds before Thanksgiving. Instead, I gained a few and then maintained. And now it is only two weeks and a few days before Thanksgiving. It would take a serious grapefruit diet or fast to get ten pounds off by then, and that would be contrary to my "lasting change" goal.

I still want to encourage those of you who worked hard to get there by Thanksgiving. Here's me cheering you on, "YOU CAN DO IT!!!!" I'm so impressed by your ability to stick with it and stay focused. You're awesome.

And for those of us who aren't going to make it by Thanksgiving, I want to cheer us on, "WE CAN DO IT!!!!" Just not by Thanksgiving, but I'm determined. If I don't QUIT, it will happen. So my Ten Pound Tuesday is going to keep going until I get there. I hope some of you faithful readers will keep at it with me until we reach the finish line.

All of the encouragement and cheering me on last week helped me more than you can know. I'm working on getting my head back where it needs to be.

Here's some quotes from The Dieter's Prayer Book that have been an encouragement this week:

The most impacting chapter was number 7: "The Trouble with Denial."

The author quotes Dr. Phil in this chapter, "You cannot afford the luxury of defensiveness, and you cannot afford the luxury of lies and denial. Denial after all, is what kills dreams. It kills hope. It kills what might have a real chance to overcome a problem had the solution just been pursued in time."

I had to face again that I am my worst enemy. Not in a beating myself up kind of way, but I had to ask myself, "How am I getting in the way?" It's funny. Every time I want something or ask for something from God, His answer seems to be that I need change at the heart level first.

Ask God if there is any corner of your heart that you keep in the shadows of denial.

Is denial denying me success and health? (pg. 24)

I've just been trying to honestly look at what I do and think and feel that keeps me from crossing that finish line that I've been working so hard to cross. What barriers have I put up myself.

Chapter 10 was awesome, too: More Than Conquerors

Do you feel like a conqueror today? You are! Even if you feel defeated and victory seems far away. If there's one truth you cling to in the coming months, let it be this: Nothing- no amount of fat or failure!- can separate you from God's love or rob you of the conquering power you inherited from Him. (pg. 30)

Remember- It Will Happen!

Here's to a successful, more than conquerors, not letting myself get in the way week! : )

Thank You

2009-11-07T10:35:00.001-08:00

Wow. All of your comments were so encouraging and helpful. You each gave me something to think about.

God is doing a lot of work on me from the inside out again. : ) I think I've made a good turn in the right direction again when it comes to this struggle with eating. I've decided it is something that will never be easy for me, but will be something God uses in my life to refine me and keep me close to Him.

I'm winning again in the battle of Becky vs. the Halloween candy, too, which is a big step! I thought it was a hopeless cause there for awhile. : )

Hope you all are having a great weekend.

I'm Really Struggling

2009-11-04T16:28:00.000-08:00

When I thought up the idea of Ten Pound Tuesday challenge, I was so excited about the possibilities. I imagined how we could encourage and inspire each other, and how much easier it would be to get those last 10 pounds off. Then I...and I don't know what happened. It certainly has turned into a CHALLENGE for me. Instead of being easier, it got harder.

October disappeared in a haze of sickness, and now it is November, and instead of losing 10 pounds I've gained two.

I'm not only struggling to lose weight, but struggling just to get the blog post up on Tuesday. I'm so sorry. I do have some thoughts for a post that I hope will be more inspiring than this whiny one. Thank you so much for being patient with me.

I really like the book I'm reading. I'll be back soon with a new post. How's it going for all of you? Challenging? Successful? This is a tough time of year on the willpower, isn't it?

My Inspiration for the Day

2009-10-28T14:46:00.000-07:00

Does the object of your desire support the weight of your desire?

I just posted a video on my personal blog by Jennifer Rothschild that spoke to me today. When I finished watching it, I found this other devotion video. Wow, did it hit home! I knew I wanted to share this other one with all of you over here. (You can pop over to Everyday Becky to learn more about Jennifer and to see the other video.)

Here's our question for the day- What would our lives be like if we lived this way?

I'm lifting all of the prayer requests from yesterday's post. This is a tough season when it comes to food. But you have a strength greater than yourself to make it through. Other Becky- I'm lifting your mom and asking God to give you peace and comfort while you can't be with her.

Cheering you all on!

Ten Pound Tuesday- Inspiration Just in Time

2009-10-27T07:30:00.000-07:00

I'm going to give myself a week of being back in the land of the living before I do a progress report.

It's funny- most people stop eating when they are sick. As usual, I turn to food for comfort when I don't feel well. I did it again this time. I kept thinking, This might settle my stomach or This will give me energy or This will just feel good to eat! Then when it doesn't work, and I still feel yucky, I try something else. Dumb. : )

So, I need another do-over. : )

Thankfully, my new book, The Dieter's Prayer Book by Heather Harpham Kopp, arrived just in time for the inspiration I need. So far, I'm really enjoying it and grateful for the insight.

I thought I'd share some of my favorite quotes and my thinking from the introduction with you:

Spiritual Transformation

Slowly I came to realize that I needed more than just information and determination to conquer my own weakness. I needed daily inspiration and help- and a power greater than my own inadequate will. (pg. 3)

If there is one thing I've learned over these past 13 months, it has been that I have met the enemy and it is me. Within myself I am not strong enough. I have an inadequate will and inadequate ability to deny my own cravings and weakness. Instead of needing another diet plan or another exercise routine, I needed to start at the heart level. At the spiritual level. I'm learning that everything stems from the condition of my heart. That's why I agree with this-

Ultimately, I believe the struggle to gain control of our eating habits and to accept our own body involves a spiritual transformation. (pg. 4)

If lasting change is my goal, I need to be aware of this and to remain aware of it because:

For those of us who live in a culture of plenty, convenience, and excess, eating can become a substitute for soul tending. (pg. 5)

AND

Because none of us can stop eating altogether, the struggle to master our eating habits is ongoing- and always at risk of being derailed. (pg. 5)

Boy, I've proven that this month. Even after all of my success. Even after climbing so far up my personal Mt. Everest, the danger of avalanche is always there. I need a strength greater than myself to make it.

Does God Care About Dieting?

I'm really learning that He cares the most about the condition of my heart. Dieting draws me to where my heart is the healthiest:

With every hunger pang that has little to do with our stomach, God is calling us homeward, reminding us that He alone satisfies...As we do this, the same empty longing that makes us want to overeat will, if we let it, become a spiritual opportunity. (pg. 6)

Perhaps we think that these issues are too superficial, too vanity driven to merit a consciously tended conversation with our Creator...When we call on God to help us with our eating, we are not trivializing God's role in our daily life, but enlarging it. (pg. 7)

I'll share more later this week. I'm thankful I have this book to help me get my head, heart, and mind right so I can succeed.

I had a prayer request: Will you pray that I will get my strength back? I'm still feeling yucky, but it has been two weeks and I just don't want to keep laying around being sick. I want to get back to this and other goals in my life. Thank you!

How can I pray for you?

Let's share in the comments how things are going- you can share your success so we can celebrate with you and cheer you on, or you can be honest about challenges so we can pray or maybe even offer some ideas for solutions.

Hope you are all well!

I'm still here...

2009-10-22T12:04:00.001-07:00

sort of. : )

I haven't been feeling well for the last two weeks, and what started out as a bad cold, just doesn't seem to be getting any better. I keep thinking, I'm not that sick, but I'm having a hard time keeping up on anything. All I want to do is sleep. And I wish that person who is trying to drill a hole in the middle of my forehead would knock it off! : )

I think it is probably time for a trip to the doctor. I'm sorry I've neglected all of you, especially those who are doing the 10 Pound Challenge with me. Don't give up on me!

Be back soon!

Love,

Ten Pound Tuesday

2009-10-20T14:19:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry my post for 10 Pound Tuesday is a little late. It's been a busy Tuesday! : )

I'll be back this evening to update. My new book came and I'm excited to tell you about it.

Be Back Later.....

Becky

Ten Pound Tuesday- Do Over

2009-10-13T07:21:00.000-07:00

How did your first week go?

I hope it was an awesome week and you saw some success on the scale. My friend, the "other" Becky in England, lost 2 pounds this week. Way to go Becky! Your blog comment showed up at just the time I needed some inspiration. I was already feeling ready to quit, and reading your email helped me refocus. Thank you!

Did you ever yell, "Do Over" as a kid? Whenever we dropped the dice on the floor during a game, or missed a shot during a game of "Pig" we always yelled, DO OVER!

Well, this week I'm declaring a do over for myself. I started Tuesday and Wednesday so motivated by this challenge. And then...

My daughter got sick, I got sick, my back went out again, hormones were raging....and I have many other excuses I won't bore you with. All week I kept saying, "All these people are paying attention now. I've got to get myself together!" But I didn't and I don't know why.

And then I weighted myself this morning. I do not have a great weight loss to report. Quite the opposite. I have a weight GAIN to report. 2 pounds. Ouch. This was anything but a stellar week.

But this morning as I'm thinking it all through, I'm thinking maybe it is a good thing for me to have a rough start. I'm hoping if any of you had a rough start, too, you won't give up and you'll just cry "do over" with me.

It's real life and losing weight is not easy. I want lasting change, so I need to look at my failures just as much as I do at my successes and ask, "Why?"

Here's what went wrong this week:

1. Thinking I've been doing this for so long now I can "keep track of it all in my head."

Yeah, that's what I thought about Natural Family planning after my first daughter was born. Ummm...we have two daughters who are only 13 months a part, so you can figure out how well I did with that! : )

2. Using food for comfort. I did not feel well this week hormonally and physically. I still don't. I have to find other ways to deal with that instead of comfort carbs.

3. No movement or exercise.

4. No water. I lived on coffee and Diet Pepsi this week. I'm not sure if this affected my weight loss, but I'm sure it isn't healthy.

Here are my goals for this week:

1. Detailed Food Journal. I cannot keep track of it in my head. It is too easy to cheat that way. I will be recording everything and planning ahead.

2. My back is hurt, but feeling slightly better today. I think some walking will do me good.

3. Water before caffeine

Here's to a better week for me! And a successful DO OVER. : )

Just because I had a rough week, doesn't mean you did. Any celebrations out there?

1. How did it go?

2. What challenges did you face? How did you handle them, good or bad?

3. Any goals for this week?

Feel free to answer any or none of these. I'm so thankful for all of your support. Don't forget to cheer each other on and visit the blogs of those who have them.

Here's me cheering you on:

Keep going! You can do it! : )

BTW- My prayer book isn't here yet. I'm hoping maybe today. I'll start blogging about that when it gets here.

Anyone watching Biggest Loser with me tonight? Go team Abby! : )

My Plan

2009-10-07T14:06:00.001-07:00

I am so excited about all of you who are joining me for this challenge! I can't believe what a difference it has made for me already. Yesterday and today have been tough, but knowing you were all in this with me gave me an accountability factor that kept me on track. I'm not going to weigh in until next Tuesday morning, but I'm hoping I'm already on the way to our goal!

I wanted to get out "on paper," I mean cyberspace, exactly what my plan is for losing this weight. : )

Eating:

In the past, when it was time to lose weight, I would either diet and not have enough energy to exercise, or I'd workout hard and get so hungry, I'd blow my diet. This time I'm realizing that in order to be successful, I have to get that part balanced.

I've found that I lose weight at about 1200 calories. That is really low for a lot of people, but that seems like it is the magic number for me. I found, though, that not all calories are created equal. I have to make every one of those quality calories, or I get grumpy, always feel hungry, crash at about 3 or 4 o'clock, and often end up eating more than I should to make myself feel better.

So these are the rules I'm living by for food:

1. Produce and Protein at EVERY Meal/Snack I shoot for 3 fruits and about 4-5 servings of veggies a day. I add hardboiled eggs a lot or use milk or Whey powder for extra protein to breakfast, lunch, and afternoon snack to help me get through my afternoon slump. I really think this is the "secret" to my success so far.

2. Spreading my calories out between 5-6 times a day to keep my blood sugar steady and me feeling satisfied.

3. Correct portions (measuring when I need to) *This is so eye opening for me when I start seeing what portions are supposed to be!

4. Trying to get at least 8 glasses of water in. This is always a tough for me because I'm such a coffee drinker but always makes a big difference in how I do.

5. Adding fiber or protein powder if I need to a meal to keep me satisfied (Generic Benefiber or Whey Powder)

Exercise:

I was doing so great with exercise until I had surgery in May and then hurt my back in August. I'm healed now from both, but need to be careful about my back, so I've got to ease into exercise again. For this week, my plan is to get at least 4-5 days of activity in, even if they are small. For example, Tuesday, I got up before the kids and rode my exercise bike, and then this morning was "Walk to School Day" for my girls, so I walked with them to school. Both weren't very intense, but I want to be careful to build up and not go gung ho like I always do and end up injured or eating too much. I'm looking for ways to play with my kids and to get outside in the Fall weather.

Eventually, I want to start doing the Couch to 5K plan again and work back up to P90X. I recommend the Couch to 5K plan if you are hoping to get into running. It was so great for me last Spring. It started out so easy and then I was completely ready for the race I ran. I can't wait to get that going again.

Inspiration:

I ordered a used copy on Amazon.com of Heather Kopp's book The Dieter's Prayer Book: Spiritual Power and Daily Encouragement. I've never read it, but am looking forward to getting that started, too. Let me know if any of you get it, too.

OK- That's my plan in a nutshell. : )

How have the first few days gone for all of you?
Anyone else want to join us?
Have you thought about what your plan is going to be?

I'm praying for all of us!

Ten Pound Tuesday Begins!

2009-10-05T18:47:00.000-07:00

It's kick-off day! Are you ready?

I shared with you in my last post that I've had a hard time getting off the last 10 pounds. I'm down 51 pounds from September '08 and only have 10 more to go to cross the finish line.

I needed a push to get there, and many of you volunteered to join me. I'm looking forward to the support and encouragement we'll be able to give each other. You can join in at any point. The more the merrier. : ) Feel free to use the picture above if you want to blog about this or to put on your sidebar.

I wanted to share a little of my vision for how this will work. I see this being about support, accountability, inspiration, and fun.

Timeframe: Before Thanksgiving

I thought getting there by Thanksgiving would be reasonable and a great way to start off the Holiday season.

(Then we can do something different to support each other through the holidays)

Accountability: Each Tuesday, I'll post "Ten Pound Tuesday" where I'll tell you my results,
challenges, and goals for the week. You'll be able to link to your blog if you are sharing your efforts there, or you can tell us how you did in the comments section here if you don't have a blog or aren't ready to go quite that public. It's totally up to you. You never have to tell us how much you weigh. I'm not planning on telling you how much I weigh, either. : )

Inspiration:

I found this book online and after reading excerpts I thought it looked like a great fit for me. I'm ordering it and will be reading it and blogging about it throughout this challenge. You don't have to buy the book to play along, but it would be fun to know others are reading along with me, so let me know if you do.

Fun: OK, now you're wondering how losing weight could ever be fun. I'm working on that. : ) For now though, I think it will be fun for you all to "meet" each other. I know a lot of you, but I am excited for you to get to know and cheer on each other. I'm hoping along the way we'll all plan some rewards for ourselves, and I'd like to throw in a few little giveaways. As always I'm on a budget and want these to be calorie free, so they will be little and not Starbucks this time. : )

How to Begin:

1. Use the comments here to introduce yourselves to one another. Tell us a little about yourself and your goals for this.

2. Make a plan! I truly believe you can't just want to lose 10 pounds. I'm hoping everyone will pick something healthy, no grapefruit diets or starvation plans, promise? Remember lasting change is the goal. Over the next few days, I'll share what my plan is going to be, but here's my disclaimer- I'm not a doctor or nutritionist, just a girl trying to lose weight, sharing with her friends what's working or not working for me.

3. Optional- Order The Dieter's Prayer Book: Spiritual Power and Daily Encouragement by Heather Kopp

4. Optional- Become a follower of this blog so you'll know when I've posted. It is a little less consistent than my personal blog, so following lets you know when I've updated other than Tuesdays.

Can't wait to get to know each other better. Here's to less of us by next week!

Want to Do this Together?

2009-10-01T16:39:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling so good lately.

I never thought that would be a problem. But in a way it is. I'm fitting into clothes. People have been so kind with compliments. It's wonderful, but a problem, also.

Because I don't feel desperate anymore, I'm struggling to stay motivated to get ALL the way to my goal.

I'm only 9 pounds away. So close. Yet so in need of some motivation/encouragement to make it to the end.

I'm not exactly sure what I've got planned, but I was wondering if there are any other readers out there interested in supporting each other to lose 10 pounds?

They could be your first 10, to get you jump started.

They might just be 10 that you've been packing around for awhile and know you'd feel better to kiss them goodbye.

Or you might be like me, 10 pounds away from a goal you've been working toward for a long time and need a push to cross the finish line.

I just think it would be fun to do some kind of challenge, or book club, or support group, or something to give us all the accountability and support we need. Anyone out there interested or possibly interested? Ive got some ideas rattling away in my brain, and I'll come up with more details soon. Let me know if you have some fun ideas.

As always, the focus will be lasting change, not quick fixes. (Who wants those 10 pounds back at the end? I sure don't!) : )

Hope you'll join me!

Biggest Loser Starts Tonight!

2009-09-15T19:39:00.000-07:00

I love that show! : )

Hope my DVR didn't fail me so I can watch it tonight later.

Any other Biggest Loser fans out there?

One Year Ago- Before and After

2009-08-29T09:36:00.000-07:00

Yikes! How did a MONTH go by without an update?

Thanks Andi and Crystal for reminding me that I was neglecting my poor fitness blog! : ) School starts again on Monday. Fall is in the air, structure is returning to our life again, and I will be here on a much more regular basis.

As I look toward the first day of school, I'm reminded of where I was at in this fitness journey one year ago.

It was the first day of school 2008, and I was at the beginning...facing Mount Everest once again.

I was emerging from four years of loss and grief, and had given birth to a baby two weeks before someone caught me in this picture. I definitely wasn't posing for photos at the time. I never want to be there again.

Today, I am celebrating that this is the me who will be taking my girls to school this year:

But I am also praying, because I know I'm about to face the most difficult part of this journey of all- the lasting change part. I would like to lose between 10 - 15 pounds more and be done losing. I then enter into the part I've never learned how to do: maintenance of a healthy lifestyle and weight.

More posts to come soon!

Thanks for cheering me one!

Stats:

45 pounds gone
15 to go
Goals: Learn maintenance and how to keep off the yo-yo diet trap. Learn how to have lasting change spiritually and physically.

Confession Time

2009-07-09T13:24:00.000-07:00

I've spent a lot of time talking about my successes lately. I think it is equally important to share my failures.

I just came home from my son's doctor appointment. He's been sick, his sisters have been sick, I feel sick. It was two hours past lunch time. Everyone was melting down. The door to door meat salesman was at the door.

I was hungry, grumpy, and stressed, and I cheated on my diet. I just started grabbing handfuls of cereal, bites of the zucchini bread I made for everyone else, then it turned into "just a little mugful of cereal" which had to be refilled three times. I finally decided I needed to stop myself, come over here and confess and then get out of the kitchen and back on track.

To be honest, I just want to give in to this binge. I want to, but I'm not going to do it. That's why I'm rambling on this blog right now, stopping myself. The old me wants to wait until tomorrow to get back to it, and to enjoy this mess up to the fullest extent. But the new me likes being the new me and wants to do things differently this time around.

So....I think I'll grab an apple, drink some water, and be done. The End. : )

By the way....

How many times do you have to tell the meat salesmen you don't want meat before they stop coming anyway? Seven times? Seventy times seven times?????

Told you I was grumpy.

The 4 P's That Are Working for Me:

2009-07-08T07:27:00.000-07:00

1. Prayer- This journey has been way more about me being spiritually healthy and figuring out what was the underlying causes of my weight issues. God has blessed me so much this time and I'm so grateful. I've asked Him to re-teach me how to eat and think about food and my body, to be the strength and discipline for me that I don't have in myself, and to show me how to do this in a way that would please Him.

2. Produce: I'm eating at least four servings of vegetables: 2 at lunch, 2 at dinner, and 3 fruits a day. The bulk of the veggies really curbs my appetite and the fruit has become a treat.

3. Portions: I think there are two schools of thought when it comes to dieting- eat bigger portions of "light" food or eat small portions of "real" food. I've learned to really enjoy real food, just less of it. I'm re-learning what a bowl of cereal should look like or allowing myself some dessert- just a little. I'm also using light foods, reduced calorie and fat, but I'm sticking to food that tastes good. I don't want to sacrifice taste just so I can have more.

4. Protein: Adding protein to my meals has helped so much with keeping my appetite down and steady. Whey protein is an easy way to add protein to meals.

I'm getting to a point where I'm really enjoying things. Shopping is getting fun again. I just feel good and I'm so grateful.

I weighed in this morning, so here's a progress report:

- 45 pounds since September

Goal: Lose ten more before August 14th and then learn how to maintain the weight loss. That is something I've never learned in the past. I've been a yo-yo dieter and am determined not to be this time.

Too Many BLT's

2009-06-25T12:51:00.000-07:00

I'm really excited about the progress I'm making. Another 10 pounds lost since May 30th for a total of 40 pounds! since September Yippee! This has been such a blessed journey this time around. I'm really thankful. I would like to lose 10 more before my baby's first birthday on August 14th.

I really miss running. I think I should be able to get back to running within the next week or two. I feel great after the minor surgery I had in May, but the doctor said to wait to run again. I'm not sure how I'll know I'm OK. I guess if nothing falls out while I'm running? Sorry if that is TMI. : )

The running I do should probably be called jogging since I'm not that fast. That time is so special to me. It is a time when nobody needs me. I can think and pray and daydream. Walking has been nice, too, but I need to start training for a 5 mile race I want to try in September.

I'm really pleased with my weight loss, but I've noticed that I've hit a plateau these last few weeks. I want to complain and say, "That's not fair! I'm eating so little, how can I not be losing weight?" Then I remember.

I remember all of the BLT's. No, not Bacon Lettuce and Tomato Sandwiches. I mean all the Bites, Tastes, and Licks that don't count, right?

It is so easy to pretend that the bite of my kids' mac and cheese is free of calories, or the chunk off their granola bar, etc.

Once the BLT habit begins, it is a hard one to break. That's my focus for this week: NO BLT'S! : )

I'll check in later to report how I'm doing resisting those pesky BLT's.

Putting on my Running Shoes Instead of Being a Spectator

2009-06-12T18:23:00.000-07:00

Boy have we had a BUSY week! Summer vacation started with a bang for my girls and we have been on the GO!

Every morning for the next three weeks, we will be at our local college where the girls are taking swimming lessons. The first day I sat and watched the entire 50 minute lesson. By the second day, I thought, "They are safe with their teacher for nearly an hour. Why am I sitting here being a spectator?"

So from that day on, I've been walking through campus and on the greenbelt. The river is so beautiful right now. Even though I don't have the green light from my doctor to run again, the walking is doing a lot of good. I work up a sweat, my baby falls asleep for a morning nap in the stroller, and I get to be a participant in life instead of a spectator.

I watch the first few minutes of swimming lessons and the end so I have enough to talk about with the girls and to encourage them with. I want for other ways to add activity into my day. Not all exercise needs to be a scheduled event. Sometimes, we can just squeeze in a walk instead of waiting in a waiting room or for a prescription to be filled, etc.

Tomorrow, I weigh in again. I'll post a progress report then.
Happy Weekend!!

Rediscovering How Good Food Tastes

2009-06-03T19:48:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed how good food tastes when you are hungry? There is no greater seasoning than hunger. : )

While I'm eating less and trying to lose these last 20 pounds, I've noticed that I'm enjoying every single bite I take. I pay attention to texture and flavor and appreciate every calorie.

I guess overeating dulled my senses. I was eating all I wanted to get to a state of fullness, but I was sacrificing the full enjoyment of my food to do it. I had forgotten how delicious an apple can be or how amazing chocolate really is when you only get a tiny little square of it. Ha Ha.

I don't know what point I'm trying to make here, but I really am enjoying how good everything is tasting to me and how grateful I am for the food God gives us. I didn't realize how much I was taking it for granted.

The Correct Way to Weigh Yourself

2009-05-27T13:44:00.000-07:00

Now I know why I never like the number on the scale!

All these years I've been weighing myself incorrectly.

Here's how it is supposed to be done!

Forced Rest

2009-05-23T10:59:00.000-07:00

The 5K I ran last week was so wonderful. I wrote a devotion about it that you can read here if you are interested. I couldn't have asked for better weather or a greater sense of accomplishment. I felt strong and joyful and loved running through the parks and by the river. I've got the race bug now and can't wait to do another one.

Unfortunately, that's going to be awhile. On Wednesday, I had a minor surgery that I'm recovering from now. It will be 14 days before I can lift anything over 10 pounds and six weeks before I can get back to my exercise routine. I knew this surgery was coming when I started the P90X program, but I decided to start anyway. I plan to restart the program again after 6 weeks, but in the meantime, I'm a partial invalid.

My plan is to really focus on diet over these next 6 weeks. I'd like to try to lose some more fat and walk as much as I'm able. Then when I restart, it will be easier to see my progress.

It's the running that I miss the most. I'm surprised by how much I've grown to love running. It is such a thing of freedom for me. I don't even like to listen to music anymore. It is my escape time to pray and think and be completely alone with no one needing me. I can't wait to get back to it.

My next goal is to lose 20 pounds by August 14th, my baby's first birthday, and to run in a 5 mile race in September. I'm hoping that all the work I've already done will help to speed up recovery during this time of forced rest.

While I'm down, does anyone have prayer requests I can be praying about for you?
Also, I'd like to include some more fitness blogs on my sidebar. Let me know if you are a "fellow climber" and would be willing to share your blog with me.

Have a great weekend!

5K Today

2009-05-16T05:29:00.000-07:00

Today is my 5K race!

I'm nervous and excited. I was so excited, I couldn't fall asleep last night until midnight and then I was wide awake at 5:30 this morning.

I picked up my number and timing chip last night. It was humbling to see the "real" runners who were picking up packets for the 1/2 marathon and marathon races.

I think I'm ready. My goal is to run it in under 30 minutes.

OK...I'm off!

Learning More Lessons as I Keep Going

2009-05-11T07:19:00.000-07:00

I've been so busy working out with my new P90X program, I haven't had time to blog about it. : )

This has been an interesting three weeks. The new program is a lot of fun and I can already feel my body changing shape. The problem is the scale isn't changing and that has been so discouraging for me.

I should be happy that my jeans are getting looser and looser, and that I've had some compliments, but insecurity and frustration moved in instead. My husband had a promotion ceremony at work this week, and they took pictures of our family. I was so disappointed when I saw the pictures. I felt pretty and skinny in my new dress. Then I saw the pictures and saw I still have a long way to go. The picture was so different than the picture in my head. It was discouraging.

It has been a time of more lessons to learn. I keep repeating this over and over again, but I want this to be long-term change, so I have to be aware of the ah-ha moments along the way.

Here's some:

1. Working out is not an excuse to overeat. I still need to be disciplined, especially during the trying to lose weight phase. I'm really good at maintaining because I instinctively make up for the calorie deficit.

2. This is a process and WILL TAKE TIME! I want to be fit and perfect NOW!!!! If it is going to be lasting, it won't happen overnight. This blog post by Tracie Miles was so helpful to me this week. There will continue to be victories and setbacks. I'm not going to be "magically" cured from my weight battle. It will be a life long effort, and I need to accept that, to persevere and keep moving forward.

3. I need to be aware when I experience success. Whenever I start becoming successful, self-sabotage creeps in to undermine my efforts. I get overconfident.

4. I need to enjoy the progress I've made and quit always living for a future me. My sense of worth and value can't be measured by my perception of my outward beauty. I want so much to be beautiful, but real beauty will come when Jesus shines out of me. There's is nothing wrong with trying to lose weight and to take care of this body, but my worth is not equal to my appearance or the number on the scale.

I'm getting excited for my 5K race on Saturday. I've been doing the Couch to 5K plan and can now run for 30 minutes without stopping. It is my favorite form of exercise right now. It feels so good to have come so far- going from running for 60 seconds to running 30 minutes.

I'm nursing a really sore back, so I'm praying it will heal before Saturday morning. I'll let you know how the race goes. Thanks to all of you who are cheering me on. It means so much to me.

Last P90X Workout of Week One

2009-04-27T21:10:00.000-07:00

I just finished my last workout of the week. Tomorrow is a rest day and then I will have completed my first week of P90X.

I LOVE IT!!! It is fun, tough, and humbling, but I feel great.

I'm still not sure about how I'm doing with my eating. The exercise alone has been a huge time commitment for me, so I haven't had the time to focus on the food yet. I think I'm doing OK though.

I'll weigh in on Wednesday morning and share my progress report then.

If you are considering doing P90X, here are a few observations I've made so far:

-It's not easy. You need to be already working out and have a basic level of fitness before you start. You might want to work up to this instead of starting here, unless you are crazy like me. : )

- Don't rely on the resistance bands. I think it is important to have weights and a pull up bar. I have the Door Gym that I bought locally. It's nice because it is portable and didn't need any hardware or drilling into my door frame.

- Pray first everyday. I have been really focused on P90X this week, and I've felt myself drifting a little spiritually. I love it but don't want it to become an obsession.

I'm so excited for Day 30 so I can compare pictures and measurements.

I'll be back on Wednesday to let you know how I did this week. I feel like I moved to the Biggest Loser ranch. : )

Three Days into P90X

2009-04-24T15:13:00.000-07:00

Wow! I'm loving my new P90X program! It is humbling though. It is a really intense workout, but I really like a challenge.

I'm still in the learning curve phase, especially about how I should be eating. I read the nutrition guide that they provided and it confused me. Because it is a more extreme workout, they want you to be eating a lot higher calories than I am comfortable doing.

Since September, I've been eating 1200 - 1500 calories, running, and doing an occasional workout video to lose the weight, but it has been really easy for me to slip into maintenance mode. With this program, it says I should be eating around 1800 -2600 calories. That is a scary thought and just doesn't sound right. When I was watching the Biggest Loser the other night, though, Bob kept harping (get it Bob Harper, ha ha- OK I know I'm a dork) on his players to eat more, not less. I guess I just need to do some more research and experiment a little. All I'm doing right now is asking myself at every meal, "What would be good fuel for my body?" and then eating the right serving size, and not allowing myself to get full. I stop eating 3 hours before bedtime and I'm drinking a lot of water and eating more protein then usual. I've been so focused on all of this working out these past three days, I haven't had a lot of time to count calories. We'll see how it goes.

I have been really happy without how much energy I'm feeling lately. This is new for me! I've always been somewhat of a slug, but I feel really good and I'm excited about the goals I'm working toward.

My before pictures were a little depressing especially since I've worked so hard all ready that these are more like half way pictures, but it was good for me to have a starting point. I'm not quite ready to share any of them yet. Let's wait until I've made some progress then I might be a little more eager to show you the "before" shots. : )

How are you doing? Any prayer requests? Thanks so much to those of you who read this and encourage me. It means so much to me and keeps me motivated! Don't forget to leave comments.....I'm a comment junkie. : )

I'll give you a progress report soon.

My P90X Has Arrived! : )

2009-04-21T20:27:00.000-07:00

My P90X workout system came from the UPS guy today! I've got a lot of studying to do to figure out the plan, and especially the nutrition plan, and some equipment to buy. I'm hoping to get started tomorrow afternoon.

I'm motivated, excited, and scared. : )

Here I go!

Lessons Learned and Something New I'm Trying

2009-04-21T07:14:00.000-07:00

You know, I've found it is fun to update this blog when I'm doing really well. As you can see I haven't updated in awhile, so you can probably guess how I've been doing with weight loss goals lately. Ha Ha. : )

It hasn't been stellar. BUT it has been good for me.

From the beginning of this journey, my biggest goal has been to make lasting change. I've learned a lot about myself over the past few weeks that I think were "Ah Ha" moments that will help me a lot over the long term.

First of all, I learned that success can be dangerous for me. I was so excited to lose that first 31 pounds and to be able to mark off my first goal, but then I got lazy. It wasn't on purpose, but the month of April has been a maintenance month instead of a losing month. As I continue to succeed and to reach goals, I need to be on guard for this tendency.

The other thing I've discovered is the food issue is way harder for me than making myself exercise. The more I'm getting into shape, the easier it is to push myself to workout. I really want to do it now. Not always, but in general I'm excited to get out for my runs. But limiting my eating is much harder. I was talking to my mom about it and she said, "Yeah, it is so much easier to make myself do something (exercise) than it is to keep myself from doing something (overeating)."

Self-discipline just isn't easy and denying appetite is really hard. Eating right is the key to my success here, though. The exercise is going great right now, but I still haven't lost any weight. Exercise alone just isn't enough.

OK, third thing I've figured out. Weight loss is not permanent. In the past, I always thought if I could just get to my goal everything will be wonderful, and I will be skinny for the rest of my life. The problem is it is so easy to regain the weight. I don't want to be fearful of this- that will just lead to gaining it faster, but I do want to be prepared to live a maintenance lifestyle.

Over Easter, I noticed I was gaining weight back. This scared me, so I re-focused and lost the weight I gained over again. When I do reach my ultimate goal and am ready for maintenance, I'm going to keep going like I'm going, with treats occasionally, enjoying life, but I have to be watchful (not obsessive) and say I will never gain back more than 3 pounds before I work to take it off again. Three pounds will be easier to take off and less discouraging than being surprised when I'm all of a sudden 20 pounds heavier again.

So, I haven't lost any weight in April yet. I haven't gained any either. I have gained some valuable insight so that is a good thing. And I think the rest has been good for me, too.

Also, I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE! After a year of wanting to do it, I finally gave into the infomercial and ordered the P90X program from beachbody.com

I am so impatient for it to get here. It promises to get me "ripped in 90 days." We'll see!

My First Goal Accomplished

2009-04-07T07:30:00.000-07:00

I weighed in this morning and was so happy to see I lost 1.9 pounds. Using a scale that is so precise works to my benefit on those weeks when I can celebrate a point something loss, but this time I would have liked to be able to say I lost 2 pounds, but I couldn't get that .1 to budge for me. Ha Ha.

This loss was significant because it meant I reached two goals! My first goal was to lose 31 lbs. by March 31st. I'm a few days late, but I've officially lost 31.3 lbs. The reason I wanted to lose 31 lbs. was because it meant I had broken into a new "decade" on the scale. Sorry, but I'm not willing to be so transparent that I tell you the actual number on the scale, but I now weigh ##8.7

I'm feeling so thankful! I was starting to slip with my eating. It was easy to grab a little handful of this or nibble on that and pretend like it doesn't count. I had to regroup this weekend and recommit. It paid off! : )

The beautiful spring weather we are having is really helping in the motivation department!

One goal down, four more to go!!!

Goals:
Run 5K race on May 16th
Run 5 mile race in September
Lose 50 pounds by August 14th
Lose 60 pounds by Christmas and then I celebrate!!!

Here's my current stats:
Pounds lost this week: - 1.9 lbs.
Total Pounds so far: - 31.3 lbs.Yippee!

Thanks for all of the encouragement! If you are writing a fitness blog of your own, let me know so I can add you to my "Fellow Climbers" section on the sidebar.

Temptation

2009-04-06T20:15:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling particularly tempted to eat tonight. The sugar free gum just isn't cutting it right now, so I thought journaling might keep me from giving in and keep me out of the kitchen. I need to do the dishes, but I'm afraid if I even walk in there it will all be over. : )

I have another temptation to admit: I WANT TO GIVE INTO AN INFOMERCIAL. : )

Since August, I can't count how many times I've been nursing my baby and ended up watching an infomercial for P90X- a workout program from Beachbody. I've usually got a lot of self-control when it comes to infomercials, they really don't tempt me all that much, and we live by a pretty tight, cash only budget, so I'm not an impulse buyer. But there is something about this one that makes me want to give it a try. I've been thinking about it for months.

Then I found out that a friend of mine did buy it. I saw her at church this weekend and WOW! SHE LOOKED SO GOOD! I've been researching ways to get it cheaper online than from ordering it from the company. I don't know....I might have to save up for it and give it a shot.

So, this was a really random post, huh? It worked though. I think I'm feeling a little more self-control and can skip the night snack I thought I just had to have. I might even try going into the danger zone to get a few dishes done now. : )

How Far Did I Go?

2009-03-31T07:27:00.000-07:00

I lost one pound this week. Well, actually .8, but I'm rounding up. I stepped on the scale three times trying to get it to give me the .2 to make a full pound, but the scale wasn't cooperating. Oh well- a loss is a loss, and I'm just glad to see my weight-loss chart going down every week. I'm on a roll and it feels so good.

One of my prayer requests lately has been, "Lord, please re-teach me how to eat." I watch my kids eat. They'll walk away from desert if they are "done." I knew my portion sizes and brain didn't remember what was right and normal any more, so I need to be re-taught by my body's Designer. He has been so faithful in answering that prayer. I feel like I'm understanding myself better, have a good idea of how much food I really need, and am still enjoying some treats, too. I want this weight-loss this time to be permanent and the internal changes to be lasting. That's why I'm going to the Source- My Maker. : )

I wanted to share a great website called www.mapmyrun.com You can chart your walks or runs on their and it will calculate the distance. I love it! I used to have to try to measure it with my car to see how far I'd gone. I have fun plotting new routes and upping my distance. There is also a www.mapmyride.com for bike riders.

OK...Here's my current stats:

Pounds lost this week: - .8 lbs.
Pounds lost in March: - 7.4 lbs.
Total Pounds so far: - 29.4 lbs.
Yippee!

Goals:
Run 5K race on May 16th
Run 5 mile race in September
Lose 50 pounds by August 14th
Lose 60 pounds by Christmas and that's as far as I want to go. : )

My Cheap Home Gym and Celebrating a Great Week!

2009-03-24T14:04:00.000-07:00

After only losing 2/10 of a pound last week, I'm celebrating a great loss this week. I was so excited to weigh in on Monday morning and see that I had lost 3 1/2 pounds!

A lot of things went right this past week.
My sore hip and knee felt better, so I was able to fit my Couch to 5K workout back in
I bought new running shoes (on sale of course) and that was a great motivator
My eating choices were really good without having to take a lot of time to think about it. I just focused on the right portions and didn't eat after dinner other than a lot of sugar free gum. It is going to take Costco size boxes of gum to break my night time munchie habit but its working.

I went to the Mall last week to pick up my new shoes and I had to walk through Dillards. Just the smell and seeing all the cute spring clothes and shoes made me want to work even harder. I want shopping and dressing to be fun again. That was another great motivator.

But I know the real secret to my success is my mom is behind the scenes praying for me. Thanks, Mom!

I promised I'd tell you about how I'm getting creative and building my own home gym. Here's what I'm doing to exercise without a gym membership:

I've already told you about:
- Couch to 5K Plan
- Free Watch Instantly Netflix workout videos (especially Pilates for core strength)

But for weight training I'm using:
- Resistance bands from Wal-Mart
- And my newest purchase is Gold's Gym Home Gym System and DVD also from Wal-Mart.

I wasn't sure about the Home Gym at first. I thought it didn't have enough resistance, but I figured out you can add as many as four bands to one handle. It will be awhile before I'm too strong for this and it fits so neatly on the back of my bedroom closet door. The DVD is a little boring and slow, but I won't need to use it for long once I figure out how to do the exercises correctly on my own.

I just walked in the door from my jog. I love the runner's high. : ) I'm so excited and hopeful about this progress. My short-term goal is to reach 31 pounds lost by March 31st and 50 pounds lost by August 14th- my baby's first birthday. Here's how I'm doing so far:

Pounds lost this week: - 3.5
Total Pounds so far: - 28.6
Goals:

Run 5K race on May 16th
Run 5 mile race in September
Lose 31 pounds by March 31st
Lose 50 pounds by August 14th
Lose 60 pounds by Christmas and that's as far as I want to go. : )

I'll Take What I Can Get I Guess

2009-03-16T20:20:00.000-07:00

Drum roll please...

I lost a whopping 2/10 of a pound this week! I'll take what I can get I guess, and if I'm perfectly honest, this wasn't a stellar week. I nursed my sore hip and knee all week and then ended up with a cold, so my exercise wasn't what I wanted it to be. I'm thankful for any loss and no gain. I'm such a tortoise in this race. But the tortoise won the race, right?

I had a good day today food wise. I'm writing this post and chomping on sugarless gum to keep myself from blowing it at the last minute. Most people I know don't eat when they are sick. That rarely happens to me. When I don't feel good, especially with colds, food feels good.

I just want to get to my goal so badly though, so I've stocked up on the sugar free gum from Costco and that's my snack tonight.

Here's hoping for a better weigh-in next Monday! : )

I'm so ready for some new clothes, too. I don't want to invest in clothes that will be too big soon, but I also want to feel good along the way. I'll have to do some bargain hunting and figure out how to actually make it out of the house with sick kids and my baby's nap schedule. I wish I could Internet shop for clothes! Anyone want to be my personal shopper? I don't pay very well. : )

I still want to do a post on how I'm trying to build a home gym with little money and some creativity. Netflix Watch Instantly movies are still my life saver right now. It is supposed to be 60 degrees this week. Perfect running weather! As soon as I get some new shoes, I'm hitting the asphalt again.

Hope all is going well for my fellow climbers out there!

: )

Progress and Setbacks

2009-03-10T15:41:00.000-07:00

Yippee! I'm officially at the HALFWAY mark!!! Last week, when I said I was about halfway there, I was rounding up for my benefit. : ) I lost three pounds this week which is exactly 25 pounds lost since September. I'm doing it slowly, but I really feel like I'm doing it right and that it will stay off this time.

I've reset my deadline to reach my goal by August 14th. That will be my baby's first birthday. I felt like a year after childbirth was a realistic goal for losing 50 pounds. I hope to be there sooner than that, though. Every time I look at this sweet face, I know he was worth all the effort I'm putting into recovering from pregnancy weight-gain. Isn't he cute??? (I'm a biased mama)

I have been enjoying my Couch to 5K running plan so much but have had some owies I'm dealing with. I tried to run through them yesterday, but I think that was a bad idea. It just made things worse. So, as bummed as I am to say it, this is going to be a rest from running week.

The pain is in my left hip and the inside tendon of my left knee. I really feel it when I walk up stairs. So here's my plan for getting better:

- Foam Rolling: This is something my trainer taught me to do for recovery after workouts. It is awesome! It burn when you are rolling out the tight spots, but it is so worth it for how much better you feel and move after you are done. Here's a video to show you what I mean.:

There are lots of YouTube videos and articles online that explain Foam Rolling if you want to check it out more. Matt always told me Work + Rest = Success, so this is a part of my resting and hopefully recovery from these owies.

- Buying new running shoes. The shoes I've been wearing are four years old and need to be replaced.

- Taking the week off of running. The race is May 16th, so one week off won't hurt my progress too much.

- Sticking to my eating plan. This is the most important thing for me. Exercise alone doesn't do it for me and without running, I'm going to need to be focused.

- Continue with my strength training and Pilates.

I'm really excited about the changes that are happening in my body. I'm feeling stronger again and it reminds me of how I felt when I was working out with Matt two years ago. I really, really miss having a coach. I got to work with the best, so I'm trying to remember everything he taught me. I don't have a gym membership right now, so I've had to be creative, but it's working. I think I'll talk about that in my next post.

Here's my stats:

Weight Lost so Far: - 25 lbs.

Weight to go: 25 lbs.

Goals:

Run a 5K race on May 16th
Lose 50 lbs. before August 14th.

If you have any tips for getting over hip and knee pain, let me know. : )

Excited About Races

2009-03-02T09:17:00.000-08:00

In my last post I mentioned that I am training for a 5K race by doing the "Couch to 5K" running plan. Just today I found the race I want to run. It's on May 16th. It is so neat how excited I feel to have a real race to look forward to. It is very motivating.

If that race goes well, I think I might consider training for a beginner's triathlon they are having here on August 6th. I would DEFINITELY qualify as a beginner. It sounds kind of scary but fun, too.

I also started a new eating plan today. My mom belongs to Curves and loaned me her book. I was intrigued by their eating plan and decided to give it a try. It is a 30-day cycle, 3- phase diet. Phase 1 goes for 1 week of 1200 calories and higher protein, Phase 2 goes for the rest of the month and is 1500 calories, and then you do a 3rd maintenance phase for 2-4 weeks to give your metabolism a rest before you start the dieting cycle over again. I like the idea of this being slow and easy on my metabolism. I've got a slow one anyway and been a life-long dieter. I'm excited to see how this goes for me. I'll let you know.

I'm creeping toward my 50 lb. goal. I'm approximately 1/2 way there. I wanted to be there by the end of this month, but I'm seeing that is pretty unrealistic. I don't want to do this too fast and gain it back again. My new goal is to be there by summer.

For exercise, I'm doing the Couch to 5K plan three days a week and filling in the rest of the time with videos from Netflix. My favorites are the ones by Ellen Barrett. I love the Pick Your Level Weight-loss Pilate's and even though it is really cheesy, I do like Jillian Michael's Cardio Kickbox. I'm also doing the Bikini Ready Fast but don't worry, I was only teasing about running my 5K in a bikini. The world is not ready for that yet, and neither am I. Ha Ha!!

From Couch to 5K

2009-02-24T13:50:00.000-08:00

In the past, every time I've decided to start running, I go gung-ho and end up with a back injury that keeps me from reaching my goals. There is something about spring weather that makes me want to get out in it, so I started feeling antsy to start running again.

My friends are training for a half marathon, and I've been so inspired by their efforts. My first thought was to find a training program for that, but I knew that would be too much, too soon. So instead I decided to start really slowly and build my strength so I don't hurt myself again.

I found a training plan on-line called "From Couch to 5K." I love it! You only run three days a week, which is doable with my schedule, and it starts out really easy. It makes me feel like I can do this even though I've got so far to go to be in the shape I want to be. Starting slow like this is building confidence and doesn't overwhelm me.

I've got this weird thing about starting new diets or exercise plans. I panic and think, "I have to KEEP doing this." For some reason I feel confident with this plan and not afraid of taking it on. There is a local 5K race later in the spring that I'm excited about trying.

I was laughing because I've combined this running plan with the Netflix videos I'm doing on-line. One of my favorites is Self Magazine's Bikini Ready Fast workout. I was laughing as I thought that according to the promises of these two workout plans, I should be able to run three miles, in a bikini, within two months. Ha Ha! Watch out world....here comes Becky! : )

Works For Me Wednesday- Free Workout Videos

2009-02-17T15:57:00.000-08:00

We are members of Netflix, and I just made a great discovery on their website. They have a feature called "Watch Instantly" where you can watch movies on your computer, and I found WORKOUT VIDEOS!! All of the "Watch Instantly" movies are free, and you can choose from seven pages of workout videos that include weight training, dance, Pilate's, kickboxing, etc. When you find the one you want to do, you just click "Play" and watch it from your computer. I just finished doing Self Magazine's Bikini Ready Fast workout. I really liked it even if I'm sceptical I'll ever be bikini ready. : )

I'm fortunate to have our big screen TV hooked up to a personal computer, so I can workout from there in the Family Room, but I've also put my laptop on top of our dresser and worked out in my bedroom.

The movies are older (approx. 2005 - 2006 range and older), but I like it because I get easily bored with a workout video, and I don't have to buy or rent these.

Works For Me! : )

This is the first WFMW I've done on my fitness blog. Welcome! If you'd like to see some of my other WFMW posts on my personal blog, Everyday Becky, you can click here.

Make sure you head back to Rocks in my Dryer for more tips.

Brainwashing : )

2009-02-07T20:17:00.000-08:00

I've been a fan of Biggest Loser for awhile, but I always laugh when they have that cheesy moment when you know it is a commercial. Jillian or Bob will suddenly start talking to the contestants about the benefits of Cheerios or how they can make a 10 calorie sugar free Jello snack. I often wondered how much Jello or Cheerios or Jenni-O Turkey have to pay for their little plug.

But this time, one of the commercials actually worked on me. They kept talking about how chewing Extra Sugar Free gum would help you get through the three o'clock snack time. The other day I was waiting in line at Wal-Mart and there staring me in the face was a display of Extra Sugar Free gum. My first thought was, "Jillian likes peppermint." : )

So in a trance, I bought myself a pack. The crazy thing is, it is working! I can't believe how much help it is for me to chew the gum when I want to eat. It's my new secret weapon. : )

So here's my progress report:

- 22 pounds so far, 28 to go. Almost 1/2 way there. : )

Focusing On the Prize

2009-02-03T06:20:00.001-08:00

It feels good to be back at it. Dieting is painful and hard, but doing it feels good, too. It's like I've woken up and feel less dull. I don't know if that makes any sense at all. I guess when you are getting exercise and not overeating it does wake you up. I'm excited about getting to my goal and enjoying spring and summer in shape.

That reminds me of a quote I heard on the Dave Ramsey radio show last night:

Failures want pleasing methods, but successes want pleasing results

He meant it to apply to financial discipline, but I think it fits exactly with my fitness goals. I keep wishing I could make this easy but easy does not produce the results I want.

I'm still trying to figure out the proper calorie amount for a nursing mom who wants to lose weight. When I'm not nursing, 1200 is right for me to lose about 1.5 pounds a week. The websites I've read say 1500 -1800 for a breastfeeding mom, but that seems high. Guess I just need to keep experimenting to find the right number. I feel like I'm losing weight but our scale is broken so I'm not sure yet. I'll do a progress report on here as soon as I replace it.

So today I am going to focus on the results so I can remember why I'm telling myself no to the over indulgences. There is an old Weight Watchers saying that fits, too:

Nothing Tastes as Good as Thin Feels

My Mii is Chubby!

2009-01-31T09:31:00.001-08:00

Well, I'm finally back on here. I did not mean for so many weeks to go by before I wrote again, but Christmas threw me for a loop!

We had a great trip, but all of the driving and being gone for 10 days was tough on our baby and he forgot how to sleep. The sleep deprivation just about killed me, and it took all this time to reteach him. He's sleeping like a champ again, and I feel ready to take on this fitness challenge again.

I haven't lost weight since Thanksgiving, but not gaining any over Christmas was a small victory for me.

I've wanted to get back at this for awhile, but honestly I have been fighting myself to make the commitment. Even this morning I had to fight to eat the right breakfast. I wanted to quit before I even began. I was like a little kid throwing a tantrum. "But I don't want to go on a diet!!!!!!" This is not going to be easy!

I've heard it said before that you won't change until it gets too painful to stay where you are. It just sucks to be overweight. I'm tired of not fitting into anything. I'm tired of feeling tired. I'm tired of being embarrassed about it and afraid I'm going to run into someone from my past and have them see the pregnancy chubbiness.

But it was the Mii that finally did it for me. : ) If you don't know what a Mii is let me explain-

My girls have been saving up to buy a Nintendo Wii for almost a year now. I'm so proud of them for this lesson in delayed gratification. They finally got there and Daddy set it all up for them yesterday. We all gathered in the Family Room to make our Mii. A Mii is a little cartoon figure of yourself that you get to customize. You pick all the features- face shape, hair color, eyes, shirt color, etc. I was holding the baby, so my husband was making mine for me. When you finish making your Mii, you can make it as tall or short, or skinny or fat as you want. As, I watched my husband, HE MADE MY MII CHUBBY!!!

When I protested, he said, "What? I made my own chubby, too. If I'm chubby, you have to be, too!"

Some people get their wake-up call from a photograph or clothes that won't fit. I'm going to lose weight so the virtual me on Wii can get skinnier, too!!! : )

Here I go! It's going to hurt, but it will be worth it. : )

Travel Plans

2008-12-18T21:00:00.000-08:00

The holiday season is proving to be tougher on my weight-loss goals than I expected. : ( I'm revising my plans from losing weight to making it through without gaining any weight.

I'm leaving Saturday to visit family for 10 days and I know the food that is waiting. Maintaining is going to be a real challenge without a plan.

Here's my plan:

1. As much movement as possible. There is a ton of snow where I'm headed, so getting outside with my kids for sledding, snowman building, etc. is on the agenda. I have been thinking a lot about how little time I spend outside.

2. Mom has a new treadmill set up in front of her big screen TV. I'm going to break it in for her. : )

3. Lots of water and veggies.

4. Enjoy treats in small serving sizes.

I'm going to focus on people and having a great time. I'll get back to the weight loss goals and blogging about my effort in January when I get home. My goal is to lose 35 more pounds by March 31, 2009. It's going to come quickly!

I was so excited about the Biggest Loser Finale. Way to go Michelle!!!

Merry Christmas Everyone! I'll be back on here in January ready to lose weight and get to the top of my mountain! : )

Stress Eating

2008-12-08T20:22:00.000-08:00

I haven't been doing so well in the weight loss department these past two weeks. I was so proud of making it through the Thanksgiving holiday with a weight loss but something changed immediately afterward.

Maybe it was getting to the end of the book club. Maybe it was the onset of the Christmas season. All I know is I've been feeling really stressed out, and I don't know why and it is affecting my eating. The sugar has crept back in. I haven't been praying about it. I need to stop myself now and re-evaluate and get things back on track before I undo the good I've done over the past 6 weeks.

My goal was to lose 5 pounds before I head to Mom and Dad's for Christmas. I'm going to try to refocus and work harder so I can accomplish that goal. This is a hard time of year for losing weight, isn't it?

Mom is visiting and just made a big batch of an all veggie soup from Weight Watchers that I love. That should help get me eating better again.

A Telling Photo and Plans for Tomorrow's Feast

2008-11-26T18:53:00.000-08:00

Wow. I am absolutely amazed at how quickly 6 weeks went. When we started this book club on October 20th, 6 weeks felt like such a long time. It was a blink, and I still have so much to learn. I will definitely be re-reading the book.

I did really well with my weight-loss goals during the first 4 weeks, but Week 5 was a stumbling block for me. I just stopped making wise choices. I'm trying to get back on track before the holiday season gets going full swing.

Take a look at this photo. I laughed so hard when I walked down the stairs and saw this on my coffee table. There is just something very telling about it all. : )

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I'm trying to make some plans ahead of time. Yesterday's reading, "Avoiding Pitfalls" was a good one to read before Thanksgiving. I've been thinking about this quote:

"Part of our journey toward eating sanely is learning to think through our weaknesses and temptations ahead of time, rather than being caught off guard by them. " (pg. 163)

On the Today Show this week they said that the typical American Thanksgiving dinner comes in at over 4,000 calories. OUCH!!!!

Here's my plans for tomorrow:

1. Exercise in the morning.

2. Drink water all day

3. Only eat what I really like. Sometimes on the holidays I eat everything because it is there. I plan to be more selective and decide what is actually worth the extra calories to me.

4. Plate around- This is a trick I learned from Weight Watchers awhile ago. When you fill your plate, there should be space on the plate between every item, nothing touching.

5. This is the first year I will not be hosting Thanksgiving myself, so it will be nice not to have a bunch of fattening food leftover. I plan to enjoy the meal and come home without any leftovers.

Here are some other quotes that were good for me from this week's reading:

"A short-term euphoria is not worth the long-term anguish which inevitably follows loss of control." (pg. 165- From "Food For Thought")

This one was especially meaningful to me because I have felt like a failure lately:

If you are feeling weak as you consider the temptations at hand, praise God! Remember God loves to be strong in weak people! (pg. 164)

Well He must be having fun with me lately! : )

I actually gained 1/2 a pound when I weighed in on Monday. I was relieved because I expected it to be worse. I'm praying that I'll start going down the scale instead of up it beginning next Monday. I really want this to be the first holiday I lose weight instead of gain it. I don't want to be another one of the statistics.

Happy Thanksgiving! : )

How Goes the Journey?

2008-11-24T20:14:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to get to the computer all day and haven't had a chance. I just wanted to check in with you all. How goes the journey? Did you have a good weekend? Can you believe we are starting Week 6 already? Where did 6 weeks go?

Be Back Soon. : )

Tough Week and Biggest Loser

2008-11-20T07:54:00.000-08:00

I'm having a really hard time staying on track this week. It's funny how my life circumstances keep lining up with whatever the current reading topic in the book is. This week while we are reading about choosing, I'm making terrible eating choices.

On Sunday, I let myself have a piece of birthday cake at a party. A normal, sane person would have been satisfied with that one piece, not felt guilty, and moved on. Not me. I felt guilty and less than "perfect" and allowed it to trigger more sugar eating. I've also been battling a cold and wanted comfort, so to food I've been a-going.

I think when I started this book, I hoped it would be six weeks of losing a whole bunch of weight and being fixed. Instead, I'm finding ah-ha moments where I'm doing things right and figuring stuff out, but there are also moments of making mistakes that I have to learn from also.

I'm hoping to take the opportunity to analyze my bad choices this week, see what's causing them, and work at stopping before I sabotage myself.

Here's some things I'm thinking:

- a choice to have some sugar does not allow me to then go on a sugar binge. It should be a once in a while treat and end there. I need to enjoy it, not feel guilty, and then move on. I want to remember how much better I feel without sugar. I love the feeling of being free from it. It surprises me how much havoc sugar can reek on my life. It really is addictive and makes you feel gross. You don't notice it until you get rid of it for awhile.

- perfectionism is definitely my enemy. I need to pray about this some more. Whenever I stop being perfect, I tend to quit altogether. Help me conquer this Lord and just live a healthy life.

On to other topics....

Any Biggest Loser fans out there?

I want to see Vicky go home so badly. Do you think it possible or does she still have too much power?

Wasn't it interesting and depressing to learn about how much our society has changed since 1980? Here were a few facts that stuck out to me:

- Obesity rates have nearly doubled
- Percentage of adults with diabetes has increased 300%
- The average size dress a women bought in 1985 was a size 8, today that average is a size 14.
- Women today eat an average of 385 extra calories a day as compared to the 1980's.

I found this all so disturbing. I know I'm right there with my culture. What has happened to us? What do you think is to blame for these dramatic changes?

Any predictions on who wins Biggest Loser?

My vote? Go Michelle!

God is Doing a Good Work

2008-11-17T12:30:00.000-08:00

I had a rough week last week being sick yet again. This time it was a horrible sore throat and the only thing on my mind was crawling back into bed every chance I had.

I didn't fit in many blog posts, but I did do the reading. This book is so full of great wisdom. Some of the thoughts about patience have been sticking with me. Especially the idea of "Keeping Short Accounts" and the promise that because I have surrendered this to God, "the process is working. He is at work. If you are staying in his presence in prayer, then you are changing, whether you can see the changes right now or not." (pg. 116).

I really needed to be reminded that even in a week of being bedridden, God was doing work in me. The idea of progress vs. perfection is an important thing for me to get. I am one of those people who wants to get normal as fast as possible. I want to be "totally 'fixed,' 'healed,' 'skinny,' and 'perfect' right now." (pg. 117) My impatience and perfectionism will keep working against me.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes:

"I am learning to look at hunger as a good, positive feeling- a sensation tinged with the excitement and anticipation of all that God, our provider, has in store. He wants us to be hungry for his best. He wants us to live in patient, faithful anticipation, trusting him to fill our hungry lives with good things." (pg. 120)

"Perseverance is a key ingredient in success of every kind, and our challenge is no exception." (pg. 122)

I'm looking forward to this next week reading about making choices. I know what the right choice is usually. I need help knowing how to master my appetite so I actually make the right choices.

Here's How I'm Doing:
Weight lost this week: -1.o lbs.
Weight lost since beginning of book club: -5.0 lbs.
My goal is to lose 50 lbs by March 31, 2009
I've lost this much so far: -16 lbs.
34 to go! : )

How goes the battle?

I'm Still Here

2008-11-14T19:08:00.001-08:00

Hey fellow book club readers! I'm still here. : )
Thank you for being patient with me with keeping up on blog posts. I'm glad that patience is the theme of this week. I've been sick again for the last three days, but feel like I'm on the mend. I'll be back with a post soon!

I hope you are all doing well. I'm excited to hear how it is going.

Patience- I Need Some

2008-11-11T13:59:00.000-08:00

I am loving these readings on patience. I didn't get to this place quickly so it will take time and I need to be patient.

A lot of the extra weight I'm carrying right now came from times of sadness- the loss of my babies, adoptions falling through, etc. I'm impatient to see it gone because it represents a time of grief and I don't want to be reminded of that sadness any more. God has done so much healing in me. This weight loss journey is just more of the process and it, too, will take time and my patience, especially if I want lasting change instead of a quick fix that will need to be redone.

I thought today I'd just make a list of some of my favorite quotes, phrases, and words from the reading I've done lately:

Patience is an undervalued virtue in the present day.
Concentrating on lasting changes rather than quick fixes
Patience is a virtue born out of faith. And faith is a gift.
We are on a journey that must be traveled one day at a time. (Sometimes even one hour or one minute at a time!
The Lord gives us this day our daily bread. Accept it gratefully. Put aside tomorrow and the next day and the next. Stop hurrying. Relax into the moment.
Experience
Breathe
Lean on God in the now
Gradually
We need to sit still before the Lord and ask him to slow us down and teach us to listen to our bodies.
Goal: Serene and normal life.

Here's how I'm doing after Monday's weigh-in:
Weight lost this week: -1.o lbs.
Weight lost since beginning of book club: -4.0 lbs.
My goal is to lose 50 lbs by March 31, 2009
I've lost this much so far: -15 lbs.35 to go! : )

One of the activities we are supposed to do this week is to set small goals. I need to spend some time coming up with more, but here are a few:

1. I will continue losing between 1 and 1.5 lbs. a week.
2. I'll be back to my pre-pregnancy weight (this most recent one) within the next three weeks.
3. I will make it through Thanksgiving and Christmas without gaining any weight this year. (Need to start planning for that)
4. I will meet my weight loss goal by March 31st
5. I will run in a 5K race I have planned in May.

Your Turn:
Insights?
Challenges?
Prayer Requests?
Progress Reports?
Celebrations?

Hope all is going well for each of you....(even you lurkers out there who don't comment) : )

Don't Give Up! Keeping Short Accounts

2008-11-07T07:06:00.000-08:00

Well, I have been a lazy blogger on here lately, huh? I have a lot of excuses. If you read the comments section on the last post, you already heard some of them:

-Busy
-Turned into a Facebook addict (If you don't know what this is, don't try to find out. You'll regret it because you'll get addicted and hours will disappear) : )
-Got distracted by the elections
-Kids have been out of school all week
-Wanted to let you talk to each other in the comments more

The real reason is I have been having a less than stellar week following my eating plan and doing my reading. I have battled with wanting to quit and feeling like I'm failing again. Today's devotion, "Keeping Short Accounts" was a perfect one for me today. I'm amazed at the timing! I don't know how the writers timed this devotion to come on the day I felt like I was blowing it, but they did. It was a God thing.

How often have I traveled down the road of, "Well, I've already blown it, so I might as well just ___________." And the line of "it occurs to you that this is already Thursday, so you might as well wait until Monday and really blow out the whole weekend." I was mentally preparing to forget this all until Monday when I read that line.

I promised myself that this journey would be about lasting change and breaking free from the insanity of doing the same old thing over and over again. I don't want the same results, so I have to change my approach. And this is my M.O. I'm excited to have an ah-ha, breakthrough here. My all or nothing behavior has to stop or I will constantly be dieting and regaining and dieting and regaining. It feels good to have identified one of the ways I self-sabotage myself in this effort. When I mess up, stop, pray, get back on track. Don't give up. Keep short accounts. Ditch perfectionism.

I think people who are not perfectionists would believe that a perfectionist has it all together all the time. They would think it was someone who is perfect. But a true perfectionist knows that perfectionists are those who give up when they can't be perfect. That's me.

If you haven't read today's devotion (Keeping Short Accounts), please read it before the weekend starts. I think we've all been struggling with weekends and I think this will help us. Pray, repent, start over.

I also need to be praying more. It is interesting how the theme this week is prayer, and I have struggled to pray at all. There has been a block in me for some reason, and I've found it so difficult to pray. I'd rather be doing anything else but praying even though I know that is my lifeline. Why do I resist something I need so much? Something I love so much?

Day Two hit it right on the head. So much of our lives as Christians involve spiritual battle. Whether we want to admit it or face it, it is reality. And prayer is critical. It really is easy for me to think about my weight loss journey as a battle. I just need to do a better job of using the weapon of prayer in this battle. It is kind of like exercise- I resist it, but once I do it I love it and wonder why I didn't want to do it.

Personally, I took the election results hard and have been feeling unsettled and anxious. Insecurity about what the future holds has my stomach in knots. It might sound weird to others reading this, but it really has affected me, and I've turned to my typical anti-anxiety medication: FOOD.

Instead of quiting or waiting for Monday to "restart," I'm going to finish up this journal entry and go pray. Then I'm going to just keep on living this new lifestyle instead of thinking, "Man I blew my diet, might as well quit."

Some Notes About the Book Club:

1. Don't worry if you get behind. Put a pencil mark on the devotion you miss and just keep going. You can go back later and catch the ones you miss. There is so much in this book, I know I'm going to need to reread it several times to get out of it all there is for me to learn. Don't be a perfectionist. : )

2. There are seven readings in each section. So Monday= Day One, Tuesday = Day Two, etc. with Sunday being the final day.

3. I try to blog often, but even if I don't put up a post, check the comments section for new posts from other people reading the book. When you leave a comment you can check the box that will have all additional comments on that post emailed to you if it is easier for you to keep up with the conversation that way instead of having to come back and check.

Here are some prayer requests:

- Pray for Sally while she is on vacation. She was able to go on an unexpected vacation with her husband and was worried about being able to stay on track. Pray she'll have a great time and will be free from worrying about overeating and will come home refreshed and ready to continue with all of this, not discouraged in any way.

- Pray for Sally A. (My mom) who is on a business trip with my dad and will be living in a hotel for two weeks. She wants to stay active and to eat well without having to live on salad alone.

-Pray that Renee's family will all be healthy again and that she will be able to stay encouraged, too.

Did I miss anything? How are things going? Anyone else needing to keep short accounts? : )

A New Week Begins

2008-11-03T08:16:00.001-08:00

I'm celebrating this morning. I lost 1.5 lbs and it is a miracle. I had such a rough week with being sick and injured, I didn't expect much. This loss this morning was really a gift.

The reading in Faithfully Fit has been so good for me lately. There is so much in it that is applicable, I think I'll probably have to go through it more than once in order to get everything I need from it.

Some of the thoughts that stood out to me from the Point of View chapters were:

1. Expecting God to do a miracle in this, believing He will heal me from the overeating and emotional baggage, and trusting Him to get me to the place I need to be to stay healthy and fit, instead of believing it is impossible. I read this post on Lysa TerKeurst's blog this morning and it really spoke to me in this area. It is easy to believe that all of this is impossible. I loved how she said that we "were not made for impossibility."

2. Quit allowing food and dieting to be an obsession. Love this quote because it describes me:

But seriously folks, I would not even dare to calculate the number of leisure hours I have logged thinking about food- what I know I should eat today, what I shouldn't eat but am really hungry for, what I have eaten and wish I hadn't, what I resisted eating but wish I'd given in to. Ad nauseum. (pg. 70)

I want to "set my mind on things above, not on earthly things" (Colossians 3:1). I'm tired of thinking about food and dieting all of the time. I want freedom here.

This morning, I read Prayer, Day One. (I read one devotion a day, and start a new week every Monday. This is Week Three)

It was so good for me to be reminded of my need for prayer. I loved the way they said this:

The 'transforming friendship' that grows during our prayer times will be the key to our becoming all he would have us be. (pg. 79)

"Transforming Friendship" is an awesome way of describing what happens when my life is characterized by prayer. I started thinking about how transforming it would be if I was really, truly seeking Him before every food choice. Or if I would really "Ask him to show me what to change in my daily circumstances in order to bring about his will for me." (pg.82)

This chapter was my favorite so far. There is just so much practical wisdom in it and it really inspired me to be praying more about all of this. I've been praying, but not in a way that makes me truly reliant on Him to win this victory for me.

How are things going for all of you? We all seemed to struggle with the weekend last week. Was this one better, the same? Any personal insights you found in the reading? Praying for all of us! : )

(Remember you can join in on the discussion at any point, even if you aren't reading the book with us.)

Here's How I'm Doing:

Weight lost this week: -1.5 lbs.
Weight lost since beginning of book club: -3.0 lbs.
My goal is to lose 50 lbs by March 31, 2009
I've lost this much so far: -14 lbs.
36 to go! : )

Catching Back Up

2008-10-30T14:46:00.000-07:00

This has been a tough week. The mastitis symptoms made me so sick. It was one of those times when I could have climbed in bed and stayed asleep until I was all better, but my mommy duties wouldn't let that happen.

Then yesterday, I was holding my baby and tried to stand up off the couch after feeding him. I hurt something in my back in the process and now I'm an invalid. : ) No more running for awhile. It hurts just to stand long enough to take a shower.

It has been depressing dealing with all of this and difficult to stay focused on my fitness and spiritual goals, let alone all the other stuff I'm supposed to be doing as a wife, mom, and homemaker. I need God's help to not turn to food to make me feel better. I think I'm on the mend now, so hopefully I'll make up for lost time.

I read Point of View: Day 4 "Expect A Miracle" today. I enjoyed it a lot. I am very much opposed to the "name it and claim it" or "prosperity doctrine" message, but I don't think that is what this is talking about at all. I really do think that deep down I lack faith that I can really win at this for long term. When I honestly examine my feelings, there is a lot of pessimism about my ability to lose weight and maintain that success.

I liked this quote:

I know it will take a miracle to keep me faithful to healthy eating and disciplined exercise- and that's exactly what I'm expecting! (pg. 65)

I want to keep thinking through today's journal questions about my heart's desire in the area of eating, nutrition, and fitness:

1. How will it feel when God has had his way in my life?
2. How will I be different?

Anyone answer those questions and gain some insight?

I was also curious what your plans are for handling all of the candy tomorrow and the days after? Do you have a plan? I think I'm going to tell myself that I need to say no to all candy this time and to remember that this is just a season of my life. There will be a time when I can have some again. Then I think well maybe I'll let myself have just one or two as a treat so I don't feel totally deprived and to practice moderation. What do you think- cold turkey, no candy this year, or set a limit and practice moderation?

Oh Boy! I'm Sick

2008-10-28T16:04:00.001-07:00

I'm nursing my baby and have developed mastitis. I was distracted by the thrush, so I didn't recognize the mastitis symptoms and didn't catch it in time. I've got the flu like symptoms- fever, chills, body ache, etc.

I'm not going to be able to blog for a couple of days, but I wanted to make sure you all had a chance to talk with each other about what you read today and tomorrow.

Comments are open to check in with each other and to share how you are doing, what you liked about the reading, etc.

I've got antibiotics now so I should be back on my feet soon. : )

Starting a New Week: Point of View Day One

2008-10-27T11:47:00.000-07:00

Boy, weekends are tough on a diet, huh? : )

It was interesting for me to see myself slip into old behaviors over the weekend. I stopped writing down what I ate, I went out to eat and had to deal with wanting to eat more than I really needed, and I started to feel the discouragement that comes from perfectionism. I'm back on track today, but I want to think a lot about what went wrong this weekend and plan to be more successful next weekend. I want to be ready for it ahead of time.

Random Observations From Last Week:

I need to keep my fridge and pantry stocked with good choices. Part of went wrong this weekend was lack of groceries and I ate what was available.
I eat in front of the computer too much and don't taste what I'm eating
I sit too much during the day. I want to incorporate more movement into my day, not just formal exercise.
The exercise I did get in Friday through Sunday felt wonderful! But I get this weird emotion about feeling overwhelmed by the fact that I have to KEEP exercising and watching what I'm eating even thought it feels so good to be doing these things. I need to focus on each day at a time instead of being overwhelmed by the long term.
Surrender on a daily basis, even meal by meal basis, is a must. I have to keep coming to the Lord to reteach me how to be healthy.
God wants to work in these areas of my heart: needing approval, anxiety, and perfectionism.

Here's What I Loved From Today's Reading:

The second week of meditations, therefore, concentrates on seeing ourselves and our struggle with food from God's point of view. (pg. 53) I'm looking forward to seeing what I learn as I look at this from His perspective.

We can view our daily struggle with overeating as a tedious, difficult, boring inconvenience that robs us of pleasure. Or we can make the conscious choice to view it as a physical and spiritual challenge through which God is giving us an opportunity to grow in our knowledge and trust of him. (pg. 56) What an "ah-ha" for me! How I choose to view this struggle is important. It's tough to have to deal with this, but God will use it for good if I let Him. The ongoing need to come to Him for help is a good thing, too. It makes me seek Him.

Here's How I'm Doing:

Weight lost this week: -1.5 lbs. (I think...I'm not sure exactly where I started last week, might be more like 1 lb)
Weight lost since beginning of book club: -1.5 lbs.
My goal is to lose 50 lbs. I've lost this much so far: 12.5 lbs.

How are things going for you? Any insights from this reading? Any challenges?

Praying for you!

You Inspired Me!!! : )

2008-10-25T08:21:00.000-07:00

Yippee!! I exercised! And I owe it all to your comments. I kept thinking about Sally getting up early to go to the gym, Marisa's kickboxing class, Mom spending so much time outside, Daiquiri running a 5K, and Renee getting her 20-30 minutes of exercise in every day. You all inspired me. So, I'm sorry I didn't blog yesterday, but it really is your fault you know. I was too busy exercising to sit in front of the computer. : )

As I was reading through all of your comments yesterday about needing to get outside more, I suddenly realized, "Why am I sitting here? My husband is home, I could go outside RIGHT NOW." So, I hurried and got some sweats on and went for a nice long walk.

There's nothing like a walk by yourself outside to give you time to be introspective and to pray. God showed me quite a bit during that walk. I just love how this time I might be losing weight, but I'm also learning so much about myself and what has caused this weight problem in the first place.

Then last night instead of the usual movie at home, our family used a free pass we were given to the local ice rink. More exercise! It was so much fun! (I'm not sure if my husband would agree). : )

Then this morning, I got a call from Daiquiri and she said, "You have no excuse. Your husband is taking care of the baby and you are going for a run/walk with me." We had so much fun. I feel more alive than I've felt in a year. Thanks for the inspiration, ladies!

All of the exercise did bring up a challenge though. Appetite.

After all of the extra activity, I wanted to eat more. I think my body always wants to make up the deficit. "She's burning calories. I need to get it back." I really struggled with it last night and ended up eating more than I should have eaten. My first reaction was very typical of me. I started to get mad at myself and doubt my ability to do this and to get really discouraged. That made me eat more. Finally, I stopped myself and said, "I have to do this different this time."

I thought about the devotion yesterday about the resources available to me through prayer. All of the resources of heaven and the power that raised Christ from the dead is available to me to stop overeating. I started praying because I knew the typical me would have woken up this morning and been tempted to give up, all because of just one little slip up. I'm such a perfectionist!

Like I said in an earlier post, I'm having to start over and have Him reteach me how to eat and think about my body. So I asked him, "How do I keep from being starving after exercise." Here's some of what I'm trying:

- Not to forget to fill up with water because my body might be acting hungry when it is really thirsty

- Eat some protein and carbs immediately after exercising

- Fill up on veggies. The carrots from our garden are still awesome and are my lifeline right now.

Here's some favorite things from the reading for Day Five and Day Six:

DAY FIVE:

I pray that you will begin to understand how incredibly great his power is to help those who believe him. It is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead" (Ephesians 1:18-20 LB).

Why then do I live like I am spiritually bankrupt? Why do I continue to struggle with my compulsive eating when every weapon in God's spiritual arsenal is waiting to come to my defense? Why do I flounder and fret and accept defeat when every ounce of God's power is charged and ready to kick into action at my command? (pg. 41)

DAY SIX:

Why is there such therapeutic value in giving God our worries? because tension, stress, and anxiety feed our compulsions. If we happen to be overeaters, they trigger our overeating. But compulsive behavior decreases in direct proportion to the growth of our faith. The worries we trust God to handle cannot act as fuel to our compulsions. An attitude of relaxed faith encourages sane eating habits. (pg. 44)

That is so me! Anxiety is a big issue for me. I'm praying over that one! : ) And I've got a God box made that I'm going to be using just like Frank. : )

Hope you are all having a great weekend. What insights, favorite quotes are you thinking over this weekend?

Inside Out- Book Club Day 4

2008-10-23T13:55:00.000-07:00

I feel really good today. I feel lighter, and I really like the good food I'm feeding myself.

It also feels really good to not be so focused this time on the facade. Maybe it's because I'm getting older. I really do want to be fit and thin, but my focus is different. In the past, I've tried to visualize myself thin, or picture a certain outfit I wanted to wear again. Or I thought about how I wanted to look for a certain event. This was all in an attempt to keep up my inner resolve and motivation, and the focus was always, always on looking good for other people.

Now I just want to feel good and free. I want to fix the baggage inside just as much as I want to wear a size 8 pair of jeans again. I want energy just as much as I want to go to the mall and have fun shopping again. I want God's healing more than anything because I know He is in the business of permanent healing not just band-aid fixes. My outside is temporal. My inside is eternal. I'm just learning to value the eternal higher than the stuff that won't last.

Today's reading was great. I like this mental picture:

"Picture a cowboy who has thrown down his pistol and put his hands in the air. The gig is up. Ironically, we who are willing to take this stance and give up to God are the ones who win in the end." (pg. 40)

As I'm working through this surrender stuff, I'm trying to be like that, hands up in the air saying, "I surrender. Show me how to live, think, eat, act, etc." I've got a 3 x 5 card and a pencil ready, and I'm writing down anything I feel like God is talking to me about changing. Today, He has been talking to me about how much I need approval from other people. I'm also trying to remember to talk to Him about it before anything goes in my mouth. I know that might sound weird, but I need to completely start over and have him teach me how to eat again. I'm trying to remember to do that. Sometimes I'm doing, it sometimes not.

My goal is to fit in exercise and get out of the house more. I've been good about being more active today, but no formal exercise session.

Keep the conversation going. I loved reading through the comments on the last post. Any new insights today?

Surrender- Day Three

2008-10-22T13:43:00.000-07:00

There were some thought provoking parts for me in today's reading.

As I'm surrendering control over my eating, I've been asking God how that needs to look for me. And one area He has asked me to surrender to him is the scale. I'm a compulsive weigher, often weighing myself several times a day. It's just a habit. If I walk by the bathroom scale, I hop on and see how I'm doing. This isn't healthy for me. Regardless of the number on the scale, I usually end up eating more because of it. If I've lost weight, I let up on the good I'm doing thinking, "Woo Hoo! I'm losing weight. I can eat more." Or if the number is going in the wrong direction I get depressed about it and give up on my diet. So this time I've set a limit for myself. I can only weigh in on Monday morning. Once. That's it. This has been really hard and I think it is a control issue.

I keep thinking, "How am I going to know if I'm doing any good if I don't check the scale? How will I know if this is working? Or if I should be eating less." I just have to trust that God is working in me and to let go of trying to control it. I can feel positive change already and that needs to be enough. But it is hard to trust Him because I'm desperate to get the weight off. When I saw today's affirmation, "I will trust that God is in control" (pg. 37) it reminded me to trust Him with whatever is going to happen this week. I've been asking Him to direct my eating. Now I have to let go.

The last paragraph on pg. 37 stood out to me, too. Here's a quote from it:

Compulsive overeating is often a form of rebellion. We like to think that the rules do not apply to us, that we can operate outside the facts and realities of calories, metabolism, and weight gain....What part does rebellion play in your eating problem?

I don't like the fact that I can't eat as much as my friends. My body requires fewer calories. Period. And I've always thought it was unfair and I've rebelled against it in the past. I realize now that I need to make peace with what my body does require. I didn't design me so I don't get to set the calorie limit. : )

______________________________________________

How's it going for you?
I realize that with a new post everyday I don't give you a lot of time to comment. Feel free to talk about any of the past posts/devotions here, too.
I'm mostly interested in the conversation and want us to be encouraging each other. Anyone facing any challenges? Anything we can pray about?
Do you have a favorite thought or quote from today's reading? Any ah-ha moments?

Yesterday was a tough day for me. Anyone have a day that was harder than the others? My trigger was emotion. I did eat more yesterday than the other two days, but I feel good about how I dealt with the emotion and tried hard not to use food to comfort myself. It was a big step for me.

Surrender- Day Two

2008-10-21T13:20:00.000-07:00

Today's devotion was titled "The Problem Is Me." At first I thought, "Hmmm, I'm not sure I got as much out of today's devotion as I did yesterday's." But as I've gone through my day, I have been thinking about it a lot.

When I read it, I thought, "I already know I'm the problem. That's why I'm reading this book." But what I've been asking myself is, "How have I been the problem specifically?"

Here's some of what I came up with:

- I ask God for help but then I don't do what He says to do
- I have many excuses for why I'm overweight right now- pregnancies, miscarriages, stress from adoption process, slow metabolism, etc. etc. but the reason I'm overweight comes down to the fact that I ate more than I should. I did it to me regardless of circumstances.
- I respond to emotion by eating. Food is my drug of choice
- I have never learned how to maintain a healthy weight. I'm always losing or gaining. I have a real "all or nothing" personality.
- I'm hard on myself and unforgiving of mess ups

I'll probably be coming up with more as the day goes on.

After reading these two devotions, I'm asking myself these questions:

1. What does it really mean to surrender in this area of my life? What would it look like? How do I really apply this stuff so I'm not just reading it, but doing it?

2. In what ways am I the problem? How do I sabotage myself?

Here are my favorite quotes for today:

"God cares deeply about our struggle with eating and exercise but not because he is interested in what size blue jeans we can fit into." (pg. 33)

God always is most interested in the condition of our hearts.

The affirmation: When I am the problem, Jesus Christ is the answer. (pg. 33)

Today has been more difficult to be in control of my eating because I've been emotional over issues with our adoption process. I'm really having to ask God to direct my eating and it has taken more discipline to make the right choices, but I'm doing it with His help.
__________________________

I really enjoyed reading the conversation on the comments section yesterday. Keep it up! Feel free to talk to each other there and respond to other people's comments. Renee- I really related to your fears about this being a temporary six-week fix. I don't want that either! I've been praying for all of us. How's it going? Any favorite quotes or thoughts about today's reading? Prayer requests?

Also, I have a sidebar blog list that says "Fellow Climbers." If you start a fitness/health blog or are blogging about this book club and want me to add your blog to that list let me know.

Surrender- Day One

2008-10-20T12:20:00.000-07:00

Faithfully Fit Book Club

Kick-Off Day

When I picked October 20th as the start date for this book club, it seemed so far away. It came quickly, and I'm excited!

I was really nervous last night before I went to bed. Thinking about the hard work ahead was much harder than actually beginning this morning. I've been doing the supportive eating today and paying attention to serving sizes. I've also been drinking water and writing down what I'm eating and drinking in a food journal. Eating this way feels good. I usually struggle to get fruit and vegetables into my diet, but because the fibrous carb is scheduled into my eating, I've already had a can of V8 juice, eaten carrots from our garden, had fresh salsa with pita chips, and I'm munching on an apple right now. That's a big nutritional improvement for me and it is still early afternoon.

But starting a diet change is nothing new to me. I'm much more excited about what I read today in the book. For those of you still waiting for your books to come in the mail, this week's devotions are all based on the theme of surrender.

It is funny how God often talks to me in themes. Once He picks a theme He wants to get my attention about, it is everywhere. The topic of surrender has come up in so many areas of my life, not just this weight loss journey. I wrote on my main blog last night about how I had to surrender our adoption process to Him and trust Him to do what seems impossible. Keeping weight off long term seems impossible to me, too.

Here's some things from the reading that stood out to me:

"Surrender is not a one-time thing; it is an ongoing process." (pg. 27)

This was a good reminder for me. I think God allows us to struggle through things sometimes so we will keep coming to Him. We need that relationship with Him and so in my life one of the things that keeps me praying and seeking Him is this issue with my weight.

"I'm only giving back to you the works of your own hand. You designed me and you made me to use in your own way." (pg. 28- from Claire's song, "White Flag")

He designed this body so it makes sense that I should be asking Him how to take care of it and to ask for the help to do it His way.

The affirmation: "Jesus is the source of my health and my healing." (pg. 30)

Lasting change will only come from allowing Jesus to change me and to not be turning to worldly wisdom for the help I need.

_______________________________________

1. Would you introduce yourself to me if you are reading along with me? It is totally fine if you want to remain anonymous when you comment. I'd just like to hear from you so I can pray for you and we can get to know each other and cheer each other on. Tell us a little about yourself and why you want to read this book.

2. In the book today it said:

"If you have decided to use the buddy system as you go through the next six weeks, try to get together today....During your time together, express hopes, fears, expectations. Talk about your goals and plans."

What about you? hopes...fears...expectations...goals...plans?

3. Any quotes from the book that stood out to you?

God bless your efforts today. Thanks for supporting me!

: )

Tomorrow We Begin! : )

2008-10-19T20:28:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be the beginning of the Faithfully Fit book club. I'm so excited about those of you who have told me you will be reading along with me, and I'm hoping more will join us as we go along. Lurkers are welcome! : ) You can jump into the discussion any time.

I had some interesting emotions come up today as I thought about getting started. Panic was the first one. Some of these thoughts were revealing about my relationship with food and diets:

What have I done?
Why did I tell people what I'm doing?
What if I can't lose any weight?
I should eat today because tomorrow the pain begins. : )
Could this possibly really work?
Etc. Etc. Etc.

Amid the panic was some excitement, too. I keep remembering last spring ('07) when I was working out with my trainer. I have never, ever felt that kind of energy in my life. Not even when I was a little girl. I've always been a low energy kind of person, but during that very short season I felt alive and full of energy.

One memory stands out so clearly to me. We were at our home group Bible Study having a BBQ and hanging out in the backyard. All of the kids were running around playing while the adults sat in deck chairs, talking, and watching the kids play. After awhile I couldn't stand to sit still, I had to go play with the kids. I had so much fun playing. I could run up their steep hill without even thinking about it. I felt like a kid again and I felt sorry for the grown-ups stuck in their chairs. The following spring ('08) I was pregnant and back in the chairs with the grown ups.

I was fantasizing today about that energy. What could taste as good as that freedom felt? I want to grab on to that feeling for motivation. But again, I know my inner resolve will only go so far and this time I do not have a coach nor a gym membership. I also do not have two hours to spend in the gym every day.

I'm working through the inventory at the back of the book, but I thought tonight I'd close this post with a prayer for the weeks ahead.

Dear Father,

I know that I need to lose weight, but I'm scared of failing again. I've done this over and over again, and I'm weary of it, Lord. Please forgive me for my past failures. Please help me to forgive myself. I feel so ashamed when I look back at the yo-yo dieting and my many, many attempts to be "skinny." Sometimes life threw me curve balls and circumstances made it so hard to succeed, but more often it was just self-sabotage keeping me from my goals. My way has never worked. My inner resolve and willpower have never been strong enough. Please be my strength. I am weak. If this weight battle is dependent upon my inner resolve it is already a lost battle. Help me to do it your way this time, not my way.

Search my heart and shine light where change is needed. I'm scared of starting tomorrow. I don't want to do the hard work that is ahead. Please make me ready to follow your lead. Show me what you want me to learn and give me the strength to do what you say to do. I want to be healthy in every way, most importantly spiritually.

I pray against discouragement. Help me to be good to myself and not beat up on myself anymore.

Please bless my efforts and the efforts of all of the people who are participating in this book club. We all have different reasons for wanting to read the book and we all have different past experiences, but I think we all are seeking your will in this area of our lives, and are in need of healing. I pray these next six weeks will be enlightening, productive, successful, and fun. Show us how to encourage and bless each other.

Most importantly, be glorified in us through this journey.

I love you!

In Jesus' Name I pray,
Amen

Your Turn:
1. Anyone want to share how you are feeling about starting tomorrow? Excited? Nervous?
2. Has anyone done the inventory and had any revelations yet?
3. No pressure to do this, but feel free to write your own prayer for yourself and the rest of us in the comments section and we'll pray with you.

See you tomorrow for Day One!

What To Do About Diet

2008-10-16T19:38:00.001-07:00

One of the nice things about this book is that it can be used with any diet and exercise program. I'm not sure what I am going to do about a diet plan. It may evolve as we go. Part of my motivation for doing this book is to break away from my typical diet yo-yo approach so I think it would be counter productive to choose a diet. Instead I am going to work on these things:

- Eat less/Move more: This is easy to say, but I want to find some ways to measure this and hold myself accountable.

- Stay sugar free: For me sugar is the enemy. I want to stay sugar-free for the duration of these 42 days. Because of my baby's thrush, I have been sugar free for the last 2 weeks. I have felt so free from cravings and so much more in control of my appetite. Then yesterday, I baked some organic chocolate chip cookies from a mix that was sweetened with cane juice. I have been craving sugar all day and have eaten so many of the cookies. I was fooled into reintroducing sugar into my system...I now believe cane juice is just another word for sugar- (sugar cane juice maybe?). It really showed me how much sugar affects my appetite and how much I like being free of it.

- Supportive Eating: This is something I learned last spring when I worked with a personal trainer. He taught me to eat in a way that kept my blood sugar level and my metabolism working all day. I was able to eat a lot fewer calories and stay more satisfied.

Here's how it works:
Eat every three to four hours hungry or not. At each meal eat a lean protein, a fibrous carb, and a complex carb. A fibrous carb is a vegetable or a fruit. So an example meal might be chicken with broccoli and a slice of whole wheat bread. It really was amazing how satisfied and level I felt eating that way.

I usually have crashes at different times of day where I'm starving. This usually happens in the late afternoon when it's time for me to start cooking dinner. When I was doing the supportive eating I didn't feel those crashes. I usually ended up eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner and added a morning and afternoon snack.

-Lots of water: I know from past experience that this also helps with appetite control.

That's my plan so far. I'd love to hear what you have planned.

Book Club Preparation- Gather What You Need Pg. 20

2008-10-15T15:41:00.000-07:00

(In preparation for the start of Faithfully Fit book club on Monday, I am working through the "How to Use This Book" section on pages 19-23. )

Today I'm focusing on gathering what I need.

My laptop sits on my counter in my kitchen, so I tend to like things to be virtual more than hard copies. It just keeps things more organized for me.

This is how I am going to set things up:

Bible:

I have my Bible, but I also really like using Bible Gateway online. It has many versions of the Bible and is super easy to use to look up Bible passages.

Notebook:

I thought about doing a hard copy for the notebook, but I spend so much time on my laptop, I decided to set up my notebook there. I made a WORD folder called "Faithfully Fit Notebook" and then I saved a WORD document for each of the sections. As we get going, I might decide to change to a notebook I can hold in my hands, but for now I think having it all on the laptop fits my lifestyle best.

(If you are still waiting for your book to come in the mail, here are the sections you will need for your notebook: scripture, goals, affirmations, journal, insights, and planning.)

Other thoughts...

This morning, I read this devotion on Proverbs 31 Ministries' website. It really made me think about my weight loss battle. I keep begging God to help me and make it all better, but I want it to be as effortless as possible. Don't make me uncomfortable, Lord! Anyway, it was food for thought.

I'm feeling nervous and excited about next week. : )

Preparing for Monday

2008-10-14T07:09:00.000-07:00

The authors of Faithfully Fit recommend you begin preparing one week ahead of your start date. So this week I'm going to be working through the letters from the authors and the "How to Use This Book" section. Then I'll start reading the devotions and journaling about them this Monday, October 20th.

There is still time for you to buy the book online if you want to join us for the book club. I hope you will join us even if you don't buy the book. Feel free to read my journal entries and join in on the discussion. You can jump in anytime. The more the merrier!

Here's one of my favorite quotes from Claire's letter:

"Personally, I have found that anytime the buck stops with me and everything hinges on my inner resolve and fortitude, I am in big trouble. The harder I try to heal myself, the sicker I seem to get!" (pg. 12)

That's why I'm excited about doing this differently this time. All of my other attempts at fitness relied on my inner resolve and self-motivation/willpower. This time I'm leaning on God for the help and healing I need to make it last.

I thought this was interesting, too:

"By now all of us in this country are familiar enough with the various kinds of eating disorders to recognize that weight is not the only indicator of irrational eating." (pg. 12)

I never thought skinny people could have a problem with food. If they were thin, then they must have some gift for eating right and not being addicted to food. I think more of us have issues with food in this country than we even know.

OK- that's enough for now. I'll check back in with more throughout the week.

Anyone else have some favorite quotes or want to talk about what you are doing to prepare for next week?

I'm praying for us and excited about what we will learn.

Book Club Coming Soon

2008-10-02T20:50:00.000-07:00

I plan on beginning the book Faithfully Fit on October 20th. I'm hoping that some of you will join me for an online book club.

Here's an excerpt from the back cover:

Faithfully Fit is not a diet, not an exercise plan. it won't
tell you how much you ought to weigh or what your heart rate should be or how many miles you should walk to burn up three cookies and a slice of cheesecake. It offers no quick fixes or miracle cures.

Instead, Faithfully Fit offers motivation, encouragement, and inspiration
to help you change from the inside out-the only kind of change that lasts.

Pray about doing this with me. Each day I'll journal on here about what I read, and then I'm hoping those of you who are reading along with me will have a conversation in the comments section about your response to what you read. I think we can have a lot of fun with this and support each other along the way.

I wanted to let you know early so you can get a copy of the book. I have the 1991 edition that I will be using, but there is a new 2007 revised edition available. I'm hoping they aren't too different if you buy the new version. I think all that changed was the front cover, but it is OK if they are different in some ways. That will just add to the conversation. You can order the old one for as cheap as .75 cents on half.com but both versions are available on amazon.com and other places.

I'll write more about the book club later and how its going to work. For now, just get the book. : )

Update on the Four Ws

2008-10-01T17:47:00.000-07:00

Three of the four Ws are going pretty well.

Drinking my water is the easy part. There is something about breastfeeding that makes me feel like I'm dying of thirst.

The walking isn't happening yet. A cold bug has been moving through my house and it's my turn to get it. Even when I'm not sick, I haven't figured out yet how to fit exercise into my day.

I knew I wasn't ready to jump into a diet yet, so I decided to start making some observations about how I'm doing and what needs to change. This is what I've discovered so far:

- My portion sizes are way off
- I'm eating more calories than I thought. On Monday, I recorded what I ate on an Excel spreadsheet and tallied up the calories...OUCH. I was shocked at the results. The trip to McDonald's for dinner did not help matters.
- I'm completely addicted to sugar.
- I eat at night when I don't need to.

So as I've prayed for wisdom and willpower, I started looking at these observations. Obviously, if I'm going to lose weight, I've got to scale back my portions, eat less calories, and stop eating so much sugar. Ugh. How easy, right? Not! I felt so discouraged as once again I was reminded that I am so weak in the willpower department.

An interesting little twist happened this week, though. I had a blessing in disguise.

I'm nursing my baby, and I've been dealing with thrush (a yeast infection on my nipples and in his mouth). It has made nursing painful, and I've struggled to get rid of it. In my search for a cure, I've learned that the thrush has moved inside of my milk ducts and dietary changes would be necessary if I ever want to get rid of it. Guess what has to go? You guessed it- sugar. Dairy products, too.

Beginning Tuesday morning, I've been sugar free. Not from willpower, just from sheer necessity. I almost cried Monday night when I thought about giving up all milk and sugar. It felt too hard. But it has been so good for me. I think going cold turkey was the only way I would have been able to break this sugar addiction, and it took the thrush being more painful than the sugar withdrawals to get me to do it.

It has been interesting to see how I'm eating differently now that I can't have milk or sugar. I'm eating healthier because I have to. I actually ate fruit and veggies today. It's a miracle! : )

I know getting the sugar out of my system will help in the willpower department. Interesting answer to prayer!

Stats:
Goal: -50 lbs
8 pounds gone so far! : )
42 to go

Starting With the Four Ws

2008-09-20T20:51:00.000-07:00

I'm only five weeks postpartum and very sleep deprived, so this journey will have a slow start. I'm in survival mode right now, so I can't dedicate the energy yet it will take to go full boar.

I think that is a good thing. It is giving me time to plan and think. How do I want to go about this this time around? What are my goals? What do I need to do differently to avoid the yo-yo dieting and feelings of failure that have come with my other attempts? I don't have the answers yet. I guess this stage of my climb up my Personal Mount Everest is setting up base camp.

I decided that for right now it is enough to concentrate on what I'm calling the "Four Ws":

Water
Walking
Wisdom
Willpower

I'm not ready to start a diet or make any huge lifestyle changes. I'm lucky to fit a shower in each day. There isn't any room for counting calories or Weight Watchers points. Getting in as much water as possible is my first step in the nutrition department.

For exercise I'm just focusing on getting myself moving again and getting outside. I've been pretty housebound so walks are so good for me. At week three after my baby was born, I was walking quite a bit. Something about the cumulative affect of a month of no sleep hit me at week four and into this week and the walking hasn't happened. It's a goal now to make walking a regular part of my routine.

The second two W's are my prayer focus. I need wisdom about how to do it differently and successfully this time around. I need insight into what went wrong each time before and for help in planning how I'll do it this time. I'm also asking for willpower because right now it is seriously lacking. I'm tired in so many ways. When the time is right to commit to doing this again, I'll need supernatural help.

What Does My Blog Title Mean?

2008-09-01T17:57:00.000-07:00

Last January, I was given the gift of a personal trainer for Christmas. I was thrilled to see great results as I worked out with Matt. Between January and May, I lost 30 pounds, gained muscle, gained confidence, and had tons of energy for playing with my kids.

During that time, I started a blog called "Becky's Road to Fitness." It was supposed to be an inspiration to other people who were trying to get fit. I posted before and after pictures, went public with my success, and then started gaining back the weight.

Between May and November, I gained all 30 pounds back (+ a few extra I'm afraid) and then I found out I was pregnant. During pregnancy, I gained another 40 pounds. Ashamed of yet another failure in my quest for thinness, I deleted my blog and stopped going to the gym.

Weight issues have been a thorn in my side for as long as I can remember. I was never obese or overly fat, just "chubby" "going through a growth spurt" or "big boned." In second grade, I remember trying to suck in my tummy and by fifth grade I went on my first official diet. Even when I was thin, I didn't appreciate it because the number on the scale wasn't the right number. It has been a battle. A battle I want to win, but a battle that feels too hard to win.

When I was working with Matt, he used a metaphor for my journey. He encouraged me to conquer my own "personal Mount Everest." That concept resonated with me. That's exactly what this has been, this mountain I keep trying to climb. I've attempted it so many times I can't count them all. Yet somehow, I keep standing at the base of the mountain trying to drum up the stamina to try one more time.

I need lasting change, not another diet. I need lasting change, not another gym membership or workout video or piece of exercise equipment. I also need to learn how to avoid burnout and self-sabotage.
I want to stand at the summit of this mountain, shove my victory flag in the ground, and say "I did it!"

That's where this blog comes into the picture. It is going to be the journal of my journey to lasting change. The log book of my "climb to fitness." This post is entry number one in my climbing diary. I haven't decided if I'll even go public with it. I just need a place to process things.

Success for me won't be losing weight. That will be a part of it, but true success for me will be lasting change. It will be freedom from the yo-yo roller coaster ride, it will be freedom from the embarrassment I feel at being overweight, it will be spiritual and physical fitness, freedom from self-medicating with food. It will be being comfortable in my own skin whatever that means.

I know climbing this mountain is going to be a journey. I know many of the pitfalls that lie ahead, and I know I will have to do a lot of soul searching to discover why I have so often attempted this but never reached the summit.

Some of my posts will be humorous (especially when I explain some of the diets I've tried in the past) Some will be just a progress check. Others will be simply processing my thoughts and actions. I learn so much through journaling.

I'm excited to see what discoveries I'll make along the way.