Tough Week and Biggest Loser

I'm having a really hard time staying on track this week. It's funny how my life circumstances keep lining up with whatever the current reading topic in the book is. This week while we are reading about choosing, I'm making terrible eating choices.

On Sunday, I let myself have a piece of birthday cake at a party. A normal, sane person would have been satisfied with that one piece, not felt guilty, and moved on. Not me. I felt guilty and less than "perfect" and allowed it to trigger more sugar eating. I've also been battling a cold and wanted comfort, so to food I've been a-going.

I think when I started this book, I hoped it would be six weeks of losing a whole bunch of weight and being fixed. Instead, I'm finding ah-ha moments where I'm doing things right and figuring stuff out, but there are also moments of making mistakes that I have to learn from also.

I'm hoping to take the opportunity to analyze my bad choices this week, see what's causing them, and work at stopping before I sabotage myself.

Here's some things I'm thinking:

- a choice to have some sugar does not allow me to then go on a sugar binge. It should be a once in a while treat and end there. I need to enjoy it, not feel guilty, and then move on. I want to remember how much better I feel without sugar. I love the feeling of being free from it. It surprises me how much havoc sugar can reek on my life. It really is addictive and makes you feel gross. You don't notice it until you get rid of it for awhile.

- perfectionism is definitely my enemy. I need to pray about this some more. Whenever I stop being perfect, I tend to quit altogether. Help me conquer this Lord and just live a healthy life.

On to other topics....

Any Biggest Loser fans out there?

I want to see Vicky go home so badly. Do you think it possible or does she still have too much power?

Wasn't it interesting and depressing to learn about how much our society has changed since 1980? Here were a few facts that stuck out to me:

- Obesity rates have nearly doubled
- Percentage of adults with diabetes has increased 300%
- The average size dress a women bought in 1985 was a size 8, today that average is a size 14.
- Women today eat an average of 385 extra calories a day as compared to the 1980's.

I found this all so disturbing. I know I'm right there with my culture. What has happened to us? What do you think is to blame for these dramatic changes?

Any predictions on who wins Biggest Loser?

My vote? Go Michelle!

God is Doing a Good Work

I had a rough week last week being sick yet again. This time it was a horrible sore throat and the only thing on my mind was crawling back into bed every chance I had.

I didn't fit in many blog posts, but I did do the reading. This book is so full of great wisdom. Some of the thoughts about patience have been sticking with me. Especially the idea of "Keeping Short Accounts" and the promise that because I have surrendered this to God, "the process is working. He is at work. If you are staying in his presence in prayer, then you are changing, whether you can see the changes right now or not." (pg. 116).

I really needed to be reminded that even in a week of being bedridden, God was doing work in me. The idea of progress vs. perfection is an important thing for me to get. I am one of those people who wants to get normal as fast as possible. I want to be "totally 'fixed,' 'healed,' 'skinny,' and 'perfect' right now." (pg. 117) My impatience and perfectionism will keep working against me.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes:

"I am learning to look at hunger as a good, positive feeling- a sensation tinged with the excitement and anticipation of all that God, our provider, has in store. He wants us to be hungry for his best. He wants us to live in patient, faithful anticipation, trusting him to fill our hungry lives with good things." (pg. 120)

"Perseverance is a key ingredient in success of every kind, and our challenge is no exception." (pg. 122)

I'm looking forward to this next week reading about making choices. I know what the right choice is usually. I need help knowing how to master my appetite so I actually make the right choices.

Here's How I'm Doing:
Weight lost this week: -1.o lbs.
Weight lost since beginning of book club: -5.0 lbs.
My goal is to lose 50 lbs by March 31, 2009
I've lost this much so far: -16 lbs.
34 to go! : )

How goes the battle?