I Kissed Dieting Goodbye...

And it is SO scary!

In the past, when I found myself in the place I am now- uncomfortable in my clothes and ashamed of the extra weight, my "go to" plan was the next diet. I was desperate to change NOW!!

But, it became harder and harder to start again. And it became harder and harder to keep it off.

As I continue in this quest for lasting change, I'm learning that all of the dieting in my past has taken a toll on my health and metabolism. I'm learning that only 2% of people who lose weight actually keep it off. If I want to be a part of the "2% Club", I'm going to have to stop dieting and start making lasting changes in my lifestyle, my behavior, and my thinking. Only then will I succeed in this journey and stop gaining it all back again.

In the past, I laughed at the claim that if I'd only make a few lifestyle changes, I could stop dieting. It always seemed like an excuse to be lazy and that the only real way to lose the weight once it was there was to diet. I didn't have the patience to lose it slowly. I was too embarrassed and felt like my life would end if I didn't get the fat off now!

The cost of that mentality was a screwed up metabolism and yet more failure.

Here I am again. But I'm not going on a diet.

I lost a 1/2 pound last week. That isn't much, but I also didn't diet last week. I rode my bike instead of driving my car when I could. I ate fruit and vegetables. I tried to cut back on sugar and white flour, and I drank a lot of water. I'm trying so hard to be patient, to be the tortoise instead of the hare so I can win the race. It is hard. I still feel desperate for change. I still wish it could be fast, but I want to keep it off even more.

These are the books I'm currently reading. I thought I knew everything there was to know about losing weight. These books are showing me I have much to learn about living a healthy life:

Question: Do you think it is possible to lose weight without dieting?

Avalanche on the Mountain

In this journey I call "Climbing My Personal Mount Everest," I've come to the conclusion that this is going to be a continuous battle.

I have so far to go in figuring out how to have a consistent fit lifestyle and to have right thinking about and control over food.

The term yo-yo dieter could not be a better way to describe me. Or maybe an accordion-

Chubby, thin, chubby, chubbier, thin, than chubby again. In-out-in-out.
Up and down the scale.

My most recent attempts to climb the mountain have been a similar story-

• October 2008 - October 2009: Lost 50 pounds of post pregnancy weight.
• Wanted to lose 10 more before Thanksgiving, but then AVALANCHE!!! Watch out below!Gained 20 by the end of the holidays instead.
• January 2010, tried Nutri System again and lost 10 pounds. Yay! Only 10 more to get back to where I was in October.
• Oops... : ( Another avalanche on the mountain- 10 pounds are back on already.

Ugh! The winter blues and stress struck and food became a comfort and escape once again.

(Next year I will not begin the Fall and Winter season without a plan! The same thing happens every year! I'm tired of it.)

I know there are so many resources available to me as a Christian to win this battle, not in my strength, but His. That's my most recent prayer, "Show me how to tap into the strength, grace, and victory I have in You in order to overcome me."

I've made a positive step in the right direction- I started the Couch to 5K plan again. The two mini jog/walks I've been on so far make me feel like I'm coming out of hibernation. I love to run! I've got my eye on a 5K race in May and then hopefully more races over the summer.

Anyone still out there? : )

Ten Pound Tuesday- Inspiration Just in Time

I'm going to give myself a week of being back in the land of the living before I do a progress report.

It's funny- most people stop eating when they are sick. As usual, I turn to food for comfort when I don't feel well. I did it again this time. I kept thinking, This might settle my stomach or This will give me energy or This will just feel good to eat! Then when it doesn't work, and I still feel yucky, I try something else. Dumb. : )

So, I need another do-over. : )

Thankfully, my new book, The Dieter's Prayer Book by Heather Harpham Kopp, arrived just in time for the inspiration I need. So far, I'm really enjoying it and grateful for the insight.

I thought I'd share some of my favorite quotes and my thinking from the introduction with you:

Spiritual Transformation

Slowly I came to realize that I needed more than just information and determination to conquer my own weakness. I needed daily inspiration and help- and a power greater than my own inadequate will. (pg. 3)

If there is one thing I've learned over these past 13 months, it has been that I have met the enemy and it is me. Within myself I am not strong enough. I have an inadequate will and inadequate ability to deny my own cravings and weakness. Instead of needing another diet plan or another exercise routine, I needed to start at the heart level. At the spiritual level. I'm learning that everything stems from the condition of my heart. That's why I agree with this-

Ultimately, I believe the struggle to gain control of our eating habits and to accept our own body involves a spiritual transformation. (pg. 4)

If lasting change is my goal, I need to be aware of this and to remain aware of it because:

For those of us who live in a culture of plenty, convenience, and excess, eating can become a substitute for soul tending. (pg. 5)

AND

Because none of us can stop eating altogether, the struggle to master our eating habits is ongoing- and always at risk of being derailed. (pg. 5)

Boy, I've proven that this month. Even after all of my success. Even after climbing so far up my personal Mt. Everest, the danger of avalanche is always there. I need a strength greater than myself to make it.

Does God Care About Dieting?

I'm really learning that He cares the most about the condition of my heart. Dieting draws me to where my heart is the healthiest:

With every hunger pang that has little to do with our stomach, God is calling us homeward, reminding us that He alone satisfies...As we do this, the same empty longing that makes us want to overeat will, if we let it, become a spiritual opportunity. (pg. 6)

Perhaps we think that these issues are too superficial, too vanity driven to merit a consciously tended conversation with our Creator...When we call on God to help us with our eating, we are not trivializing God's role in our daily life, but enlarging it. (pg. 7)

I'll share more later this week. I'm thankful I have this book to help me get my head, heart, and mind right so I can succeed.

I had a prayer request: Will you pray that I will get my strength back? I'm still feeling yucky, but it has been two weeks and I just don't want to keep laying around being sick. I want to get back to this and other goals in my life. Thank you!

How can I pray for you?

Let's share in the comments how things are going- you can share your success so we can celebrate with you and cheer you on, or you can be honest about challenges so we can pray or maybe even offer some ideas for solutions.

Hope you are all well!

Ten Pound Tuesday- Do Over

How did your first week go?

I hope it was an awesome week and you saw some success on the scale. My friend, the "other" Becky in England, lost 2 pounds this week. Way to go Becky! Your blog comment showed up at just the time I needed some inspiration. I was already feeling ready to quit, and reading your email helped me refocus. Thank you!

Did you ever yell, "Do Over" as a kid? Whenever we dropped the dice on the floor during a game, or missed a shot during a game of "Pig" we always yelled, DO OVER!

Well, this week I'm declaring a do over for myself. I started Tuesday and Wednesday so motivated by this challenge. And then...

My daughter got sick, I got sick, my back went out again, hormones were raging....and I have many other excuses I won't bore you with. All week I kept saying, "All these people are paying attention now. I've got to get myself together!" But I didn't and I don't know why.

And then I weighted myself this morning. I do not have a great weight loss to report. Quite the opposite. I have a weight GAIN to report. 2 pounds. Ouch. This was anything but a stellar week.

But this morning as I'm thinking it all through, I'm thinking maybe it is a good thing for me to have a rough start. I'm hoping if any of you had a rough start, too, you won't give up and you'll just cry "do over" with me.

It's real life and losing weight is not easy. I want lasting change, so I need to look at my failures just as much as I do at my successes and ask, "Why?"

Here's what went wrong this week:

1. Thinking I've been doing this for so long now I can "keep track of it all in my head."

Yeah, that's what I thought about Natural Family planning after my first daughter was born. Ummm...we have two daughters who are only 13 months a part, so you can figure out how well I did with that! : )

2. Using food for comfort. I did not feel well this week hormonally and physically. I still don't. I have to find other ways to deal with that instead of comfort carbs.

3. No movement or exercise.

4. No water. I lived on coffee and Diet Pepsi this week. I'm not sure if this affected my weight loss, but I'm sure it isn't healthy.

Here are my goals for this week:

1. Detailed Food Journal. I cannot keep track of it in my head. It is too easy to cheat that way. I will be recording everything and planning ahead.

2. My back is hurt, but feeling slightly better today. I think some walking will do me good.

3. Water before caffeine

Here's to a better week for me! And a successful DO OVER. : )

Just because I had a rough week, doesn't mean you did. Any celebrations out there?

1. How did it go?

2. What challenges did you face? How did you handle them, good or bad?

3. Any goals for this week?

Feel free to answer any or none of these. I'm so thankful for all of your support. Don't forget to cheer each other on and visit the blogs of those who have them.

Here's me cheering you on:

Keep going! You can do it! : )

BTW- My prayer book isn't here yet. I'm hoping maybe today. I'll start blogging about that when it gets here.

Anyone watching Biggest Loser with me tonight? Go team Abby! : )

Forced Rest

The 5K I ran last week was so wonderful. I wrote a devotion about it that you can read here if you are interested. I couldn't have asked for better weather or a greater sense of accomplishment. I felt strong and joyful and loved running through the parks and by the river. I've got the race bug now and can't wait to do another one.

Unfortunately, that's going to be awhile. On Wednesday, I had a minor surgery that I'm recovering from now. It will be 14 days before I can lift anything over 10 pounds and six weeks before I can get back to my exercise routine. I knew this surgery was coming when I started the P90X program, but I decided to start anyway. I plan to restart the program again after 6 weeks, but in the meantime, I'm a partial invalid.

My plan is to really focus on diet over these next 6 weeks. I'd like to try to lose some more fat and walk as much as I'm able. Then when I restart, it will be easier to see my progress.

It's the running that I miss the most. I'm surprised by how much I've grown to love running. It is such a thing of freedom for me. I don't even like to listen to music anymore. It is my escape time to pray and think and be completely alone with no one needing me. I can't wait to get back to it.

My next goal is to lose 20 pounds by August 14th, my baby's first birthday, and to run in a 5 mile race in September. I'm hoping that all the work I've already done will help to speed up recovery during this time of forced rest.

While I'm down, does anyone have prayer requests I can be praying about for you?
Also, I'd like to include some more fitness blogs on my sidebar. Let me know if you are a "fellow climber" and would be willing to share your blog with me.

Have a great weekend!