I Kissed Dieting Goodbye...

And it is SO scary!

In the past, when I found myself in the place I am now- uncomfortable in my clothes and ashamed of the extra weight, my "go to" plan was the next diet. I was desperate to change NOW!!

But, it became harder and harder to start again. And it became harder and harder to keep it off.

As I continue in this quest for lasting change, I'm learning that all of the dieting in my past has taken a toll on my health and metabolism. I'm learning that only 2% of people who lose weight actually keep it off. If I want to be a part of the "2% Club", I'm going to have to stop dieting and start making lasting changes in my lifestyle, my behavior, and my thinking. Only then will I succeed in this journey and stop gaining it all back again.

In the past, I laughed at the claim that if I'd only make a few lifestyle changes, I could stop dieting. It always seemed like an excuse to be lazy and that the only real way to lose the weight once it was there was to diet. I didn't have the patience to lose it slowly. I was too embarrassed and felt like my life would end if I didn't get the fat off now!

The cost of that mentality was a screwed up metabolism and yet more failure.

Here I am again. But I'm not going on a diet.

I lost a 1/2 pound last week. That isn't much, but I also didn't diet last week. I rode my bike instead of driving my car when I could. I ate fruit and vegetables. I tried to cut back on sugar and white flour, and I drank a lot of water. I'm trying so hard to be patient, to be the tortoise instead of the hare so I can win the race. It is hard. I still feel desperate for change. I still wish it could be fast, but I want to keep it off even more.

These are the books I'm currently reading. I thought I knew everything there was to know about losing weight. These books are showing me I have much to learn about living a healthy life:

Question: Do you think it is possible to lose weight without dieting?

Trying Something New

The time between 3:00 and 5:00 in the afternoon is a danger zone for me and my fitness goals. I start each day with the greatest intentions of sticking to my eating plan, and then 3:00 rolls around. My energy crashes, I feel exhausted, and I feel like I NEED to eat.

Even if I try to eat something small and healthy, it seems to trigger an afternoon binge. It's been so discouraging! I've been wondering how to change things to survive that time of day.

Last week, a friend sent an email that had a saying in it that I'd heard before:

You should eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a beggar.

Reading it this time, made me wonder if changing the order of my meals might help me with this afternoon dip. So I'm trying to eat a dinner size meal at lunch, a small afternoon snack that includes a healthy carb (like an apple) and a lean protein (like a hard boiled egg or string cheese) and then when I would have eaten dinner, I'm having a light lunch size meal.

I've got high hopes. I'll let you know if the change does any good for me. I'd love to hear if there are any other tips for increasing energy and curbing appetite for that time of day.

Babysteps

I'm trying to pick myself up, shake off the (figurative) snow from the latest avalanche, and start climbing again. I want to face victory and the top of the mountain, instead of laying here feeling sorry for myself and focusing on my failure and defeat.

I'm tackling this mountain again with babysteps. One new step a week.

Last week, I took Babystep #1: I started the "Couch to 5K" running plan. I printed the plan, put it on the fridge, and wrote the race date on it. My favorite part is marking off each workout with a big x. I'm proud to say, the first three workouts are checked off.

Today, I began Babystep #2: Deal with my sugar addiction.

I'm going sugar free from now until Easter to get it out of my system. This week's focus will be getting through my sugar cravings and thinking about how to deal with this issue.

For breakfast, I had oatmeal sweetened with raisins instead of brown sugar and added a handful of peanuts for protein. Feeling great about it so far.

I'll begin Babystep #3 next week.

Avalanche on the Mountain

In this journey I call "Climbing My Personal Mount Everest," I've come to the conclusion that this is going to be a continuous battle.

I have so far to go in figuring out how to have a consistent fit lifestyle and to have right thinking about and control over food.

The term yo-yo dieter could not be a better way to describe me. Or maybe an accordion-

Chubby, thin, chubby, chubbier, thin, than chubby again. In-out-in-out.
Up and down the scale.

My most recent attempts to climb the mountain have been a similar story-

• October 2008 - October 2009: Lost 50 pounds of post pregnancy weight.
• Wanted to lose 10 more before Thanksgiving, but then AVALANCHE!!! Watch out below!Gained 20 by the end of the holidays instead.
• January 2010, tried Nutri System again and lost 10 pounds. Yay! Only 10 more to get back to where I was in October.
• Oops... : ( Another avalanche on the mountain- 10 pounds are back on already.

Ugh! The winter blues and stress struck and food became a comfort and escape once again.

(Next year I will not begin the Fall and Winter season without a plan! The same thing happens every year! I'm tired of it.)

I know there are so many resources available to me as a Christian to win this battle, not in my strength, but His. That's my most recent prayer, "Show me how to tap into the strength, grace, and victory I have in You in order to overcome me."

I've made a positive step in the right direction- I started the Couch to 5K plan again. The two mini jog/walks I've been on so far make me feel like I'm coming out of hibernation. I love to run! I've got my eye on a 5K race in May and then hopefully more races over the summer.

Anyone still out there? : )