Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Surrender- Day Three

There were some thought provoking parts for me in today's reading.

As I'm surrendering control over my eating, I've been asking God how that needs to look for me. And one area He has asked me to surrender to him is the scale. I'm a compulsive weigher, often weighing myself several times a day. It's just a habit. If I walk by the bathroom scale, I hop on and see how I'm doing. This isn't healthy for me. Regardless of the number on the scale, I usually end up eating more because of it. If I've lost weight, I let up on the good I'm doing thinking, "Woo Hoo! I'm losing weight. I can eat more." Or if the number is going in the wrong direction I get depressed about it and give up on my diet. So this time I've set a limit for myself. I can only weigh in on Monday morning. Once. That's it. This has been really hard and I think it is a control issue.

I keep thinking, "How am I going to know if I'm doing any good if I don't check the scale? How will I know if this is working? Or if I should be eating less." I just have to trust that God is working in me and to let go of trying to control it. I can feel positive change already and that needs to be enough. But it is hard to trust Him because I'm desperate to get the weight off. When I saw today's affirmation, "I will trust that God is in control" (pg. 37) it reminded me to trust Him with whatever is going to happen this week. I've been asking Him to direct my eating. Now I have to let go.

The last paragraph on pg. 37 stood out to me, too. Here's a quote from it:

Compulsive overeating is often a form of rebellion. We like to think that the rules do not apply to us, that we can operate outside the facts and realities of calories, metabolism, and weight gain....What part does rebellion play in your eating problem?

I don't like the fact that I can't eat as much as my friends. My body requires fewer calories. Period. And I've always thought it was unfair and I've rebelled against it in the past. I realize now that I need to make peace with what my body does require. I didn't design me so I don't get to set the calorie limit. : )


How's it going for you?
I realize that with a new post everyday I don't give you a lot of time to comment. Feel free to talk about any of the past posts/devotions here, too.
I'm mostly interested in the conversation and want us to be encouraging each other. Anyone facing any challenges? Anything we can pray about?
Do you have a favorite thought or quote from today's reading? Any ah-ha moments?

Yesterday was a tough day for me. Anyone have a day that was harder than the others? My trigger was emotion. I did eat more yesterday than the other two days, but I feel good about how I dealt with the emotion and tried hard not to use food to comfort myself. It was a big step for me.


Anonymous said...

Just wanted to let you know I'm reading. :) Didn't get to try the kickboxing class at the gym this morning since L is sick. It was a tough day emotionally but I didn't let it get to me and did pretty well with eating.
Thanks for starting this!


Sally A said...

Insight: I truly believe the rules don't apply to me. When I want something, I just don't believe that it really has as many calories as the label says. Yesterday I stuck to the rules--and aha I lost weight. I even ate more than usual, and the food truly satisfied. Journal: I am powerless. I am even powerless to give up controlling my life, so Lord I am asking you to do that for me too. I taught school for 35years and every day I had to control everything (I thought). Classroom, materials, curriculum, my family, my finances, my eating etc. etc. Now I don't want to control anything. I GLADLY give all control over to you Lord. I'll just "enjoy the garden and name the animals and walk in the cool of the day". I want to wake up each morning, read your word, and give all the rest to you. Amen
A comment to Sally: Don't worry about this book ending. Then it is time to help others. Maybe you could get a group going in your church and go through the book again, being a help for them. I've noticed (I've worked for Weight Watchers for about 7 years) that people who reach out to others after they reach their goal are the ones who keep it off.

Sally said...

Yesterday I did well with the eating. I actually listened to my body and ate only when I was hungry. I usually eat when I get bored. And I ate vegetables and yogurt for snacks. I did allow myself to splurge after dinner with a little bit of ice cream, but not the whole container. I am feeling really good with this so far. I do have a problem giving up control though, and I'm still not going to the gym in the mornings like I want to so I'm going to go to bed earlier at night so maybe that will help.

Sally A: I never thought about doing a class at my church. Thank you for the idea.

Becky said...

Sally- I'm having a hard time fitting exercise in to my day. That's a goal I'm working on, too. Good job with the emotional eating- that's another thing I'm trying to get a handle on, too. I like how you said you are listening to your body. I think we are able to do that when we are kids- know when we are hungry/full etc. and only eat what we need. Somehow I lost that ability a long, long time ago and want to get it back. : )

Marisa- Kickboxing sounds like so much fun! Wish I could go with you. I let my gym membership expire and can't afford another one right now. : ( I need to get outside and do some hiking/walking and hopefully some jogging someday soon. The Fall weather is so beautiful, I want to get out in it instead of being so housebound all the time. Let me know how you like the kickboxing class when you can get there. : )

Mom: I like the idea of letting go and letting God direct your day. I'm so glad you are retired now so you can do that better. I'm trying to do a lot more asking Him what to do with my time and what to eat throughout the day instead of just "doing." Are you thinking about starting a class at church? Miss you!

Daiquiri said...

Yeah - I definitely don't want to believe that the rules apply to me...although I've never thought of it that way. Part of my problem with that is this: the rules CHANGE.

As a kid and very young adult, I COULD eat anything and everything I wanted. I was still super skinny...too skinny really.

Now that I'm a not so young adult, and after 4 babies...sure enough the "rules" are starting to apply to me more and more. My body just works differently than it used to!

Ah, food. I just love it so much, dangit!

Renee Douglas said...

Wow. Yesterday was definitely a "ah ha" day for me. I really just had to think about it throughout the afternoon and evening. Only just now, a day later, could I actually sit down and write my thoughts. I have never considered myself a controlling person. Honestly I thought my eating was out-of-control, but really it was just the opposite. I was rebelling, choosing to eat what I want, whenever I wanted, however much I wanted - and I wasn't going to let any "rules" tell me no. I'm still amazed at how clearly revealed I am. I guess I had more to surrender than I imagined when we started this book a few days ago.

Overall, I am so excited with how things are going. So far, I've done really well with portion size and no sweets. I've been getting about 20-30 minutes of exercise in each day. I can already feel a difference!

I am really enjoying reading everyone's comments. It's great to be able to do this with others.