Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Surrender- Day Two

Today's devotion was titled "The Problem Is Me." At first I thought, "Hmmm, I'm not sure I got as much out of today's devotion as I did yesterday's." But as I've gone through my day, I have been thinking about it a lot.

When I read it, I thought, "I already know I'm the problem. That's why I'm reading this book." But what I've been asking myself is, "How have I been the problem specifically?"

Here's some of what I came up with:

- I ask God for help but then I don't do what He says to do
- I have many excuses for why I'm overweight right now- pregnancies, miscarriages, stress from adoption process, slow metabolism, etc. etc. but the reason I'm overweight comes down to the fact that I ate more than I should. I did it to me regardless of circumstances.
- I respond to emotion by eating. Food is my drug of choice
- I have never learned how to maintain a healthy weight. I'm always losing or gaining. I have a real "all or nothing" personality.
- I'm hard on myself and unforgiving of mess ups

I'll probably be coming up with more as the day goes on.

After reading these two devotions, I'm asking myself these questions:

1. What does it really mean to surrender in this area of my life? What would it look like? How do I really apply this stuff so I'm not just reading it, but doing it?

2. In what ways am I the problem? How do I sabotage myself?

Here are my favorite quotes for today:

"God cares deeply about our struggle with eating and exercise but not because he is interested in what size blue jeans we can fit into." (pg. 33)

God always is most interested in the condition of our hearts.

The affirmation: When I am the problem, Jesus Christ is the answer. (pg. 33)

Today has been more difficult to be in control of my eating because I've been emotional over issues with our adoption process. I'm really having to ask God to direct my eating and it has taken more discipline to make the right choices, but I'm doing it with His help.

I really enjoyed reading the conversation on the comments section yesterday. Keep it up! Feel free to talk to each other there and respond to other people's comments. Renee- I really related to your fears about this being a temporary six-week fix. I don't want that either! I've been praying for all of us. How's it going? Any favorite quotes or thoughts about today's reading? Prayer requests?

Also, I have a sidebar blog list that says "Fellow Climbers." If you start a fitness/health blog or are blogging about this book club and want me to add your blog to that list let me know.


sally a said...

This was a good lesson for me. I discovered that I am the problem, because I think I am the answer. In my head I "know" I can do it. I've done it many times before. All I have to do is get back on the program, do my self talking, remember how it felt to be there, get motivated by pictures of myself or others where I want to be, practice putting down my fork between each bite, etc. etc. etc. Yes, I've done it many times before, but no, it had not brought me lasting change. I cannot eat without guilt. I cannot be proud of my reflection, I am not surprized at how thin I actually am, rather than surprised at how big, and I am not free of cravings throughout the entire Holiday season. When I do it I "put a bandaid on cancer". This time I want Jesus to be the answer. Lord, don't let me look the other way, or hide my eyes to my problem. Help me to look it straight in the face and change my ways. Be my strength. Amen

Sally said...

I know that I am the problem, my main problem is control. I like to plan things out and control every aspect. God is teaching me in so many areas of my life that he is in control not me. I think I have finally come to grips with the loss of control over pregnancy. After almost 3 years, I'm saying ok I will wait on your time.
I have been asking myself the same questions, mainly how do I really apply this to my life so that it lasts. I need this book to be a year of devotions.

Becky said...

I agree, Sally. I wish it was longer than six weeks. They need to write a follow up book. : )

I'm sorry about how hard it has been waiting for pregnancy. When the answer is "no" or "not yet" it hurts so much. I'm praying for you!

Sally A. - a.k.a. Mom : )
I'm so glad you are doing this with me.